The Moon is a Dead World

Horror Horizon - January 31

2012-01-27T12:08:00.001-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

The Thing (2-Disc Combo Pack or separately)

"It's not human. Yet. From the producers of Dawn of the Dead comes the chilling prelude to John Carpenter's cult classic film. When paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) travels to an isolated outpost in Antarctica for the expedition of a lifetime, she joins an international team that unearths a remarkable discovery. Their elation quickly turns to fear as they realize that their experiment has freed a mysterious being from its frozen prison. Paranoia spreads like an epidemic as a creature that can mimic anything it touches will pit human against human as it tries to survive and flourish in this spine-tingling thriller."

Dream House

"Will Atenton (Daniel Craig) quit a high-profile job in Manhattan to relocate his wife, Libby (Oscar®-winner Rachel Weisz), and their two daughters to a quaint New England town. But as they settle into their new life, they discover their perfect home was once the murder scene of a mother and her children. When Will investigates, he's not sure if he's seeing ghosts or if the tragic events are somehow related to his past. The only clues come from his mysterious neighbor, Ann (Oscar®-nominee Naomi Watts), who helps him piece together this haunting puzzle. Full of twists and suspense, this psychological thriller will have you on the edge of your seat."

Night Train Murders (Blu-Ray)

"It was released as SECOND HOUSE ON THE LEFT, NEW HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and TORTURE TRAIN. The ads screamed, "Most movies last less than two hours! This is one of everlasting torment!" It remains one of the most graphically fiendish films in exploitation history, the story of two teenage girls traveling through Europe, forced into a nightmare of sexual assault and sadistic violence."

Dead Hooker in a Trunk

"Set in beautiful Vancouver, four friends set out on an everyday errand and end up in a fight for their lives when they discover the body of a dead hooker left in their trunk. Lead by a sexy, impulsive Badass, her distant Geek twin sister, their bible thumping, Jesus loving Goody Two Shoes friend, and a chaotic, rock star Junkie pal, the group has to put aside their differences to dispose of the body before they're next. Thrown into their own personal purgatory, they face off against persistent police, a sleazy motel manager, chainsaw wielding triads, and a brutal serial killer. All the while they are followed by a mysterious Cowboy Pimp who wants to claim the corpse for his own. Will they uncover the truth behind the body and be able to stand up to their demons? Buckle up and get ready for the ride of your life filled with gun fights, extreme violence, blood, guts, gore, and goats. Dead Hooker In A Trunk is the unexpected first feature film written, directed, and produced by identical twin sisters, Jen and Sylvia Soska. The two newcomers created an impossible film that is an underground sensation, destined to become a cult classic and will make you fall in love with films again!"

2-Headed Shark Attack

"Survivors escape to a deserted atoll after a Semester at Sea ship is sunk by a mutated two-headed shark. But when the atoll starts flooding, no one is safe from the double jaws of the monster."

Dr. Jekyll Vs. the Werewolf

"Paul Naschy returns once again to his famed role as El Hombre Lobo. This time out he's searching for a cure to his full moon bloodlust and seeks the help of none other than Dr. Jekyll's grandson. Aided by the beautiful Justine (Shirley Corrigan) Naschy and Jekyll attempt to cure his werewolf problem by turning him into Mr. Hyde!! This plan doesn't exactly turn out as they had hoped. With loads of creepy atmosphere!

Limited Edition To Just 500 Units. Each Unit is Hand Numbered!"

Spiderhole

"They say squatting is dead - a term that takes on a sinister double meaning when four homeless art students decide to take up residence in an abandoned London House where a hidden terror lurks."

Blubberella

"An action comedy centered on an overweight woman whose footsteps cause explosions and whose dual swords are used against anyone who makes fun of her."

Roxsy Tyler's Carnival of Horrors: A Leech Named Bassant

"The first home DVD from the popular web-series brings you "A Leech Named Bassant". Roxsy Tyler and Johnnie 13 decide to do a good deed (for once) and have a blood drive. The blood drive is supposedly to help starving vampires in Somalia. As Roxsy and Johnnie continue on they host the classic horror film "Attack of the Giant Leeches" from 1959. During Roxsy and Johnnie's charitable efforts they notice a health inspector snooping around the carnival grounds. Roxsy Tyler suspects the health inspector might know she really isn't having a blood drive but finding random people to feed to her new pet giant leech."

Ubaldo Terzani Horror Show

"Alessio Rinaldi, a 25-year-old director, gets the charge from a producer to write the script of his first movie with Ubaldo Terzani, a well-known writer of horror novels. Alessio moves into Terzani's house to start this collaboration, and a strange relationship of psychological dependence grows between them: Ubaldo Terzani unveils his dark side, and Alessio fall in a desperate depth of craziness and nightmares. There is a reason why Terzani's bestsellers are so frightening ... Alessio will discover that reality can be unexpectedly more terrifying than every brainchild, and he will have to fight hard to escape Ubaldo Terzani's jaws."

The Bunnyman Massacre

"Driving through remote regions of California, a group of friends on a road trip to Vegas are forced into a frightening game of cat and mouse with a five ton truck. When looking for help they make the mistake of knocking on the door of a nearby old house, the house where the Bunnyman lives, they must then fight against becoming the next chapter in the terrifying story of the iconic psychopath in the bunny suit and chain saw. A horror movie mix of Duel and Texas Chain Saw Massacre, not all bunny rabbits are cute!!"

Graphic Thursday: "Vampires Fly At Dusk"

2012-01-26T11:12:00.001-05:00

I thought I'd break out my first volume of the Creepy collection that I got for Christmas with a short story from the first issue. All the way back from 1965 comes "Vampires Fly At Dusk", a short that proceeds much as you'd expect - a small superstitious town, a mysterious count, and a lady-friend who appears to be in danger from her blood-sucking lover. But "Vampires Fly At Dusk" packs a twist that turns the genre trope on its head, and I will admit that, though by today's standards the finale might be somewhat benign, I didn't see it coming and expected a different kind of scenario. From Creepy #1, here's the story:

(Sorry for the blurry edges - the binding did not make scanning easy. Please click on each for a larger view and higher resolution.)

Movie Review - The Dead (2010)

2012-01-25T10:34:00.001-05:00

Let's be honest here - zombie films are notorious for their generic qualities. When's the last time you tuned in to a zombie flick expecting something new or exciting to happen? I know that it's been a while for me, and that's because the genre has become so overloaded with cheap low-budget flicks looking to mock their own favorite zombie movies. The Ford brothers have attempted to reinvent the zombie genre yet again with The Dead, a zombie film set in the midst of Africa during an outbreak of disease.

The setting of the film is one of its most important features, not just because of the realism of each desert shot but because it focuses the social commentary. The zombies in The Dead are mostly black, and although some video games have come under fire for their depiction of race, The Dead works to showcase the poor conditions of Africa and the resiliency of those who live there. The Fords don't necessarily dwell on their own political allegories, and one can certainly overlook much of the film's commentary and write it off as a coincidence that the zombie apocalypse is set in Africa. But there are moments of stand-out metaphor, such as the shared journey between white protagonist Brian Murphy (Rob Freeman) and African Daniel Dembele (Prince David Oseia), or the prospect of hope symbolized by a necklace given to Dembele's son as Murphy stands to fight with him.

The settings are gorgeously shot, with an eye for color (and by color I mean the vast range of orange and red that the hot sun and sand can evoke). Zombie extras dot the landscape in almost every shot, even climbing a hill as Murphy makes his way towards the camera. These little pieces add a hopelessness to the film, an extra amount of detail that goes a long way towards making The Dead's character quests depressingly bleak. There's a quality to the scenery that reminds me a lot of old Italian zombie films. And thanks to some impressingly good special effects, the intense gore also triggers that sense of nostalgia.

But by the same token, The Dead often shambles like the zombies in the film. Murphy and Zembele join up, heading towards an air base and attempting to find a military outpost where Zembele's son is supposed to be. Along the way, the two hijack a truck and go off-roading through the sands, risking axles and gas in order to make good speed out of Africa. But there are zombies everywhere, dead who have wandered from villages far and wide for the chance to rip into living flesh. And with these dead comes a stall in the film, a routine of Murphy Zembele being forced to settle down for the night, being surprised by a zombie attack, and making it out alive. It's a process that repeats multiple times during the middle of the film, where the truck breaks down or they get stuck in a rut or they must make a run for from zombies who quickly closed around them. While these scenes can be tense, they're often just filler, used to take up some more time on a journey that ultimately seems out of reach.

Yet despite these lulls, The Dead is often poignant and compellingly depressive. And though the finale seems to lead us to the same futile position in which we began our journey, one thing has changed - that despite the dangers of Africa, we can join together, accept equality, because home is no longer there. When countries finally dissolve into what they are - simply bordering territories of land - people forget cultural and societal differences, and accept all of humanity.

Book Review - Survivors by James Wesley, Rawles

2012-01-24T16:09:00.001-05:00

I don't want to hear about a plummeting economy, nor do I want to be reminded of my escalating debt after college that I have to pay back in small increments. Don't even mention the ridiculous gas prices. Our economy is bleak and unrelentingly depressing, and the idea of a future of mass governmental and economic collapse isn't very farfetched. James Wesley, Rawles has crafted two novels out of this catastrophic concept, the first being Patriots and the subsequent half-sequel being Survivors. Rawles is known for his survival blog - SurvivalBlog.com - and for being a hardcore survivalist. Survivors is full of fact and notation, detailed accounts of how to survive a collapse for those who haven't been studying up on the zombie apocalypse.

Survivors documents a few different players in the governmental collapse, focusing on families, an army vet trying to return home, and a group of looters deemed La Fuerza. Rawles switches back and forth between these protagonists, often intermingling their storylines and structuring the novel by months during the collapse. But Rawles has a thick cast of characters, and his list at the beginning of the novel is mammoth and somewhat offputting. The novel isn't long enough to sustain a deep characterization for each of the characters, and it often means Rawles puts certain character backgrounds in front of others. This means that some scenarios feel more important than others, and it gives Survivors an uneven pacing.

The novel is also extensively researched, which, by most standards, would translate into a fantastically realistic book. But Survivors is too detailed in its scope; there often pages literally filled with acronyms about military slang, or whole pages devoted to describing morse code. Though Rawles is simply trying to teach survivalism during his novel, it bogs down Survivors so much that I wouldn't be surprised if some simply set the book down and walked away.

The plot, though intensely filled, never really seems to progress anywhere. It makes it difficult to guess where Survivors is headed, but it also means that the reader becomes less invested with the lack of focus. Instead, the novel wanders through the collapse, often slipping oddly back and forth in time or skipping whole sections of plot through expositional narration from Rawles. In short, there's little action besides the ending standoff between La Fuerza and a group of protective townspeople; even this vignette, though, ends with a cliffhanger that leaves the reader in much the same situation that they started in at the beginning of Survivors.

While strongly researched, Survivors is often extremely intricate and overburdened by explanations that aren't really necessary. Coupled with the fact that Rawles is unable to focus on one specific plot, it makes it difficult for the reader to survive through the endless slosh of information that breaks up a winding plot.

The Evil Ad #47

2012-01-23T21:22:00.001-05:00

Here's a good-looking ad for the Reader's Den comic shop, whereever that's located. Never seen one myself, but in my search for interesting horror ads, I stumbled upon this one. It would've been perfect for Friday the 13th, had I realized that it was Friday the 13th last week.

This would be the perfect addition to your pen holder at work - and a good way to scare your nieces or daughters. Or maybe you just have an embarrassing Barbie story from your childhood; I know I do.

Viewer Vomit #6: Choose the next film!

2012-01-22T13:58:00.001-05:00

After almost half a year, Viewer Vomit returns to The Moon is a Dead World for the sixth installment. This time, I'm looking for initial suggestions for the next horror film in the series. The only catch is that the movie must be on Netflix Instant. The reason for this is to make the film more accessible for those who want to participate, and it's also easier for me to locate the film. It'll give me more time to watch it as well.

Shoot your suggestions for films in the comments below, and I'll soon compile them into a voting list for the sidebar. Then, after that I'll post a deadline for each contributor's review. Hopefully we get some more participation going this time - and I hope the regulars make it back too.

Post the film suggestions below. Let's say I'll check back in a week for four of the best suggestions.

Horror Horizon - January 24

2012-01-22T11:06:00.002-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Godzilla (Criterion Collection)

"Ishiro Honda’s Godzilla is the roaring granddaddy of all monster movies. It’s also a remarkably humane and melancholy drama made in Japan at a time when the country was still reeling from nuclear attack and H-bomb testing. Its rampaging radioactive beast, the poignant embodiment of an entire population’s fears, became a beloved international icon of destruction, spawning more than twenty sequels and spinoffs. This first thrilling, tactile spectacle continues to be a cult phenomenon; here, we present the original, 1954 Japanese version, along with Godzilla: King of the Monsters!, the 1956 American reworking starring Raymond Burr (Rear Window)."

Paranormal Activity 3

"Paranormal Activity 3 takes you back to where it all began and the activity is more intense than ever. The cameras are on and recording the chilling moments when evil begins to terrorize young sisters Katie and Kristi for the first time. Brace yourself for the horror phenomenon that delivers 'heart-exploding scares' so frightening that 'the last 15 minutes will mess you up for life.'"

The House on Sorority Row (Remastered 2-Disc Edition)

"Flirtatious young sorority sisters who are days away from graduation set out to throw one last decadent celebration. Unbeknownst to them, the strict matron of their house hides a horrendous secret thought long buried. A gruesome accident is witnessed by a hideous fiend, hidden within the once nurturing dwelling, which triggers a rampage of death and destruction. Before the end, the peril faced by this sisterhood will push them to the brink of annihilation. And rivers of blood will drown all who enter...The House On Sorority Row."

The Woman

"When a successful country lawyer captures and attempts to "civilize" the last remaining member of a violent clan that has roamed the Northeast coast for decades, he puts the lives of his family in jeopardy."

The Shiver of the Vampires (Blu-Ray)

"A young honeymooning couple stop for the night at an ancient castle. Unbeknownst to them, the castle is home to a horde of vampires, who have their own plans for the couple."

AKA Strange Things Happen at Night.

The Nude Vampire (Blu-Ray)

"A beautiful 'vampire' woman becomes involved with a playboy whose father is experimenting with artificial youth. As it turns out, a group of vampires is trying to save her from aliens from outer space! This is indeed a very unique erotic Euro-horror film with a thought-provoking story."

Lips of Blood (Blu-Ray)

"This erotic vampire film features a young man on a strange quest after recognizing a castle on a poster. He seems to remember the castle from his childhood and eventually finds it with the aid of a strange woman dressed in white. It turns out that his family has been keeping the secret of vampirism from him."

The Devil's Men / Terror (Katarina's Nightmare Theater)

Collects both films in a special edition DVD.

Revenge! (Katarina's Nightmare Theater)

"JOAN COLLINS stars in this gripping suspense thriller. After his ten-year-old daughter is brutally attacked and murdered on her way back from school, her father (James Booth - ZULU, PRAY FOR DEATH) becomes obsessed with exacting revenge upon her killer. He knows the suspect, who has just been released by the police due to lack of evidence. The father vows to force a confession out of him at all costs. But what if he has chosen the wrong man for his vengeance?"

AKA Inn of the Frightened People.

Punished

"The story centers on real estate tycoon Wong Ho-Chiu. While sheltered in the luxurious trappings afforded by his wealth and power, he suffers an unbearable loss when his daughter Daisy is kidnapped and killed: a victim of her decadent lifestyle and cocaine addiction. Wong Ho-Chiu turns to his trusted bodyguard Chor to seek out the perpetrators and exact revenge. Chor does his employer's bidding with an unflinching determination and scarcely contained rage thinly hidden beneath the surface. Wong Ho-Chiu goes one step further and orders Chor to videotape each of their executions, an order to which he complies, revealing the depths of depravity to which he will sink to match hand with his former underworld brethren in his quest for revenge."

Naked Nazi

"Michelle Young is a she-devil who dominates men but finds the tables turned after a horrific sexual attack. In the resulting aftermath she becomes the ""Naked Nazi"", a sexual predator who takes pleasure in dominating then killing anyone who gets in her way. Her rampage goes unchecked until she crosses paths with an unhinged Nazi hunter and a rookie detective. Can they stop her, or will they too fall victim to her lust for sex and blood?! WARNING: ADULTS ONLY, STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT!"

Porn Star Zombies

"A group of adult film cast and crew members must discover what is causing their fellow stars to rabidly attack them."

Note the double entendre in that sentence - as though adult film stars aren't rabidly attacked every day.

The Iron Rose

"A young couple out for a walk decide to take a stroll through a large cemetery. As darkness begins to fall they realize they can't find their way out, and soon their fears begin to overtake them."

Fascination

"This erotic horror film, set in 1916, tells the story of a thief who seeks refuge in a castle owned by two women, Eva (Brigitte Lahaie) and Elizabeth (Franca Mai). The women are seductive and teasing, but turn out to be part of a vampiric cult of blood-drinking aristocrats."

End Call

"The Devil has a phone number, and if you call him on your mobile phone at midnight, he will grant your wish. In return however, he will control your life for the duration of the call."

Always From Darkness

"When a young woman takes notice of her neighbor, she has a plan to make him hers. Only problem is, she's a vampire."

Lust In Hell

"After losing her parents in a traffic accident, Koto discovers the ability to communicate with the souls of the dead. She meets Shinji, who lost his lover in the same accident, and they begin a torrid and tempestuous affair."

Head Case

"The first of a four part series from Award Winning Director Anthony Spadaccini, this pseudo-documentary is edited from the home movies of serial killers Wayne & Andrea Montgomery, presenting a look into their quiet, suburban lives...as well as the graphic & disturbing details of their horrific crimes."

Hell On Earth

"Seventeen year old Bobby, walks with the help of metal leg braces and lives with his nasty parents and repulsive sister, Peggy. He plays with “imaginary friends” provided by the mysterious and ancient “Apocryphal Book of Tarkuhm” provided by his eccentric and somewhat crazy Aunt Sadie."

Birth of Separation

"Conceived from transgression and purged into a world he was not meant to know, Jerome exacts meaning to his otherwise questionable existence. Birth of Separation is a visceral portrait of the reclamation of one man's perverse lineage."

Cold Creepy Feeling: Paranormal Exorcism

"A young couple, Lisa Younger and Jared Vandenberg, escape the Los Angeles rat race for the quiet life in Joshua Tree, California but paranormal visions and voices quickly turn the house of their dreams into a house of nightmares. They enlist the help of a spiritualist, Alex Damiano, to help exorcise the premises but this only awakens and angers the demonic presence that lurks within. When the town Sherriff, Dennis Woodruff, becomes involved, he discovers that another family mysteriously disappeared 10 years earlier without a trace and he also becomes entangled in the web of evil horror."

Night of the Dead

"Sorority Girls, Exotic Dancers, Mad Scientist and Zombies!!"

The Funhouse

"The carnival is a place for fun and laughter, but not for Amy and her friends. When their childish dare to stay all night in the spooky funhouse backfires, it leaves a trail of dismembered teenagers a mile long in Tobe Hooper's classic video nasty era slasher."

Obsession

"Michael Courtland is a Southern gentleman who seems to have everything - A successful business, a beautiful wife and an adoring young daughter until a botched kidnapping tears his world apart leaving him widowed, bereaved and bereft. Years later on a trip to Italy, he meets a woman with an uncanny resemblance to his late wife but all is not how it appears as a twisted conspiracy threatens to unhinge his mental shackles, sending him to the knife edge of MADNESS!"

The Noose: Prejudice and zombies (sort of) with the release of Deno Sandz's Blood Plantation

2012-01-20T20:53:00.001-05:00

Deno Sandz, up-and-coming horror fiction novelist and writer of numerous other media, is releasing his new novel Blood Plantation through Amazon. Sandz's novel centers around an entity named the Soul of the Ocean who comes back from decades of eternal rest to seek his vengeance on a bloodline who enslaved him and subsequently threw him overboard.

The novel, according to the press release, "explores some of the most important connections with slavery such as pain, suffering, and reality in 'Blood Plantation,'- the love a husband for a wife, an evil that can never be forgiven, and a spirit that never dies." Heavy themes, folks, heavy themes, and along with those themes comes an unstoppable force that threatens the existence of the protagonists.

You can find Blood Plantation on Amazon - support a budding writer!

The Noose: Trailer and clips for The Woman in Black unshrouded

2012-01-19T13:30:00.000-05:00

A television advertisement for the new ghost flick The Woman in Black caught my eye today. Yes, it is PG-13, which means it might be pared back in terms of gore, but there have been quite a few good haunting films that have received the less-adult rating. Perhaps it's because paranormal movies are about what you don't see.
Anyway, Daniel Radcliffe stars in the film about a lawyer plagued by the titular woman in black in a small village. One wonders why young Harry can't ward off the ghost by a simple incantation, but I could be getting my films mixed up.

The trailer above does have a certain Others feel to it, thanks to the clothing style and the dark, dreary lighting. But it often looks promising on its own merit, even if trailers can be mighty deceiving. Below, find a clip from the flick titled "The Bedroom". Sounds sexy.

And one more clip from The Sun, which features the all-too-common pop-up scare from behind a peephole.

The film hits theaters February 3. Will you be attending to see Harry defeat the supernatural forces of evil again?

Retrospective: Ugly Americans as a Trigger for Cartoon Nostalgia

2012-01-19T09:00:00.000-05:00

I've been watching quite a bit of Ugly Americans lately - namely, the whole first season thanks to its instant streaming on Netflix. Despite my epic promotions for the show last season and the one before, I never really watched more than a couple of episodes of it for journalism's sake; I didn't really have the time, and no DVR to record it like I do now. But now that the show is readily available, I've really gone to town on catching myself up on the Comedy Central horror comedy cartoon.

If you don't know much about the series, it's a very funny comedy about a social worker named Mark who tries to assimilate monsters into the culture of New York City; each episode tends to feature a different monster from legend (or just a creature the writers think up) and the problems that they face in a monstrous world with so many cultural differences. It's a social worker's nightmare but a horror buff's wet dream.

Ugly Americans is vulgar, dark, and grotesque, but it has a heart that keeps the show from becoming too cynical. Most episodes end with Mark drawing a parallel between the often chaotic events that transpire in the show to real-life situations social workers face; just like America, the fictional monster-city in Ugly Americans is a melting pot of different cultures, one that must empathize to succeed.

But what's really drawn my attention to the show is its resemblance to cartoon shows from the '90s, ones meant for kids that also threw a lot of subtle adult humor over the heads of naive children. I'm talking shows like Rocko's Modern Life, Ren & Stimpy, or Cow & Chicken, shows that weren't afraid to get a little messy and toe the line.

I grew up with these cartoons, and I loved them for what they were: often gross-out humor combined with likable characters. Rocko's Modern Life was a big part of my childhood, and I would tune in to Nick just to watch Rocko and Heffer cook up some crazy scheme. Many times, that meant depicting something gross, like an appendix that accompanied Rocko on a jaunt to the theme park or eyeballs bugging out of heads; the same was true of Ren and Stimpy, who would often fart, spit, or vomit to my approval. As a kid, these juvenile pranks were gross, but they were also hilarious, and they were edgy to garner my interest more so than shows today might.

Ugly Americans, though meant for adults, has that same type of cartoonish, gross-out humor. In one episode, Mark is forced to pull a newborn head out of a two-headed monster's neck; suffice to say that there's a lot of pus and milky fluid that accompanies the labor. It's so grotesque that it can only be funny, and Ugly Americans emphasizes the roles of horror in its comedy. The artwork is stylized similarly to '90s kids' cartoons, too, and it all just takes me back to a time when I used to crack up at jokes about flatulence and spleens. I still do today, just a little less publicly.

So if there's anyone out there who wants to get back to those days where kids' cartoons might just have some adult connotations, give Ugly Americans a spin. You might find that there's a resemblance to those old cartoons, mixed in with all of the blood, gore, and sexuality of a maturer comedy.

About the blackout

2012-01-18T22:36:00.001-05:00

Thank you for joining me today. Thanks to an organized effort, the Internet has effectively banded together to strike out against the SOPA and PIPA acts currently being voted on in Congress. Taking part in the blackout was just a small step against governmental intrusions into free speech like this, but it's worth it - be an activist, and actively strike out against this infringing new proposal.

Tomorrow, posts will be back to normal. Check out an essay on Ugly Americans and its similarities to my nostalgic favorites, Rocko's Modern Life and Ren & Stimpy!

The Noose: January 17

2012-01-17T13:38:00.000-05:00

There's a lot of news to catch you up on, especially since I've been waiting to compile some of these press releases into a lengthy list of updated material. Here are just some of the exciting things happening in the horror world right now.

DC Comics to release more of their "New 52" comics series

Last year, DC Comics came out with a landslide of new comics dubbed the "New 52". Featuring 52 new comic series, either offshoots of original comics or entirely new collaborations, the immense number of new series was a fresh start for DC Comics' fans who wanted to begin a new comic series without needing to know dense backstory. In May 2012, DC Comics will again release a set of new comics, this time with a second wave of six first-issue series. Below, find the titles and descriptions of each:

"* BATMAN INCORPORATED - Writer: Grant Morrison. Artist: Chris Burnham. The acclaimed ongoing writer of ACTION COMICS, Grant Morrison, presents a fresh take on BATMAN INCORPORATED, in which the Batman brand is franchised globally in preparation for a major international threat.

* EARTH 2 - Writer: James Robinson. Artist: Nicola Scott. The greatest heroes on a parallel Earth, the Justice Society combats threats that will set them on a collision course with other worlds.

* WORLDS' FINEST - Writer: Paul Levitz. Artists: George Perez and Kevin Maguire. Stranded on our world from a parallel reality, Huntress and Power Girl struggle to find their way back to Earth 2. Perez and Maguire will be the artists on alternating story arcs.

* DIAL H - Writer: China Miéville. Artist: Mateus Santoluoco. The first ongoing series from acclaimed novelist China Miéville, this is a bold new take on a cult classic concept about the psychological effects on an everyman who accidentally gains powers to become a hero.

* G.I. COMBAT - Writer: J.T. Krul. Artist: Ariel Olivetti. Featuring the return of a classic DC Comics series, THE WAR THAT TIME FORGOT, along with rotating back-up stories and creative teams - including THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER, with writers Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti and artist Dan Panosian; and THE HAUNTED TANK, with writer John Arcudi and artist Scott Kolins.

* THE RAVAGERS - Writer: Howard Mackie. Artist: Ian Churchill. Spinning off from TEEN TITANS and SUPERBOY, this series finds four superpowered teens on the run and fighting against the organization that wants to turn them into supervillains."

Girl With the Dragon Tattoo to become graphic novel, emphasis on graphic

Speaking of DC Comics, the comic producer has picked up the rights to produce a graphic novel based on Stieg Larsson's ridiculously popular crime fiction novel The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. The book will be written by Denise Mina, who you might remember featured on here about a year ago with her previous graphic novel A Sickness in the Family. Expect this graphic novel to feature plenty of the violence you'd expect from the dragon tattoo girl; I just hope they get the tattoo right.

Chicago Fear Fest looking for frightening shorts for their film festival; please don't send your khakis

If you've been working on a short horror film, now is the time to get it prepared, because in Chicago, a massive indie horror fest will be coming shortly. Led by Horror Enterprises Flashback Weekend, Horror Society, Sinister Visions, and Zombie Army Productions, the Chicago Fear Fest is a weekend getaway for horror fans and indie filmmakers who want to see some carnage. The festival is currently accepting film submissions - take a look at the press releases' verbage for how films will be judged:

"Films will be judged based in 3 different categories: Best Feature, Best Short and Audience Favorite. The winning director of each category will be invited to appear as a featured celebrity guest at the Flashback Weekend Chicago Horror Convention to be held August 10-12, 2012 in Rosemont, IL."

Interested, or got something worth submitting? Head on over to the Chicago Fear Fest website for more info.

The Evil Ad #46

2012-01-16T19:42:00.001-05:00

I like this Walgreen's Halloween commercial because of its childish nature, the innocence of its cartoon ghosts that linger around the children on All Hallow's Eve. It reminds me of a time when I was a kid, when I would watch Saturday morning cartoons and get excited over all of the Burger King and McDonald's Halloween commercials because of their cartoony depiction of the holiday. It's pleasant, and it keeps the mysticism of Halloween intact. Sometimes, I wish I could relive my childhood Halloween memories - what a fun time that would be. But for now, fuel your nostalgia with this Walgreen's commersh.

Horror Horizon - January 17

2012-01-15T19:45:00.001-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Cold Sweat

"Roman expects to find her in the arms of another man, but when he and a friend finally track her down, there is no lover on the scene, but only a pair of demented old men who keep her locked away in the basement of their crumbling mansion. Armed with crazed, reactionary political ideals—along with a stash of highly unstable explosives—the villainous duo conducts nasty experiments on a string of young women who are lured to their home via the Internet."

The Perfect Student

"Nicole Johnson (NATASHA HENSTRIDGE) is a well-respected criminology professor who defends her star student (BREA GRANT) from charges that she brutally murdered her roommate. But soon after Professor Johnson wins her student's release, doubts begin to emerge about the crime, and Professor Johnson finds herself in danger. The evidence is irrefutable, and incredible."

Donner Pass

"A group of teens on a ski trip find out that the Donner Party tragedy of 1846 was no accident and that a hunger still haunts the Sierra Nevada mountains when they get snowed in and two members of their group turn up not only dead, but half-eaten."

I'd like to say there's more than this for the 17th... but there's not. A slow month for horror in January!

Movie Review - Parents

2012-01-13T18:39:00.001-05:00

There's a reason why plot ideas like Parents generally end up in a Tales from the Crypt episode rather than a full-length movie. It's because the idea behind parents who are secretly trying to feed their kid human parts can only last so long as a suspenseful yet still mysterious plot point; after a while, the central focus of this story can only lead to two outcomes, that either the parents are indeed feeding young Eddie bits and pieces from the latest cadavers or that Eddie is just delusional and has some sort of Freudian mommy issue. Parents stretches this playful tug-of-war between two conclusions to a full hour and a half, and it just doesn't work as well as it could (and does) work in a short anthology episode.

A lot of suspense is generated thanks to a laid-back (and pre-tax evasion) Randy Quaid, who stars as the Boy's father. He's a chemist at the local Toxico, a company we can only imagine started something quite similar to the zombie outbreak in Return of the Living Dead Part II. Throughout, Quaid gives a surly, sulking performance, often eerily stoic and then quickly transforming into a rage-filled cannibal. The same goes for the Boy's mother, although her character is often more charming, less temperamental, and more understanding of the Boy's boycott of eating the family meat (now that sounds dirty).

It helps that the Boy's family life is sufficiently odd, because there's a tense atmosphere created whenever he's at home, because you just don't know how his father will react (probably much like Quaid himself). And the Boy also finds a girl friend (we'll keep those two words separate since the Boy can be a little bashful) who evokes the same sense of strangeness, although in a much more juvenile way that actually makes her creepier than the folks.

The characterization is actually quite good, and that's because it's really one of the only aspects that makes Parents a flowing narrative. Without the Boy's recurring bad dreams about his parents' coital bliss, without the brief moments where the Boy stumbles upon some dark secret of his father's, Parents would simply be about a boy with strange parents, a stagnant plotline done before.

It still sort of is, and despite its billing as a dark comedy, Parents really isn't that funny. It's sometimes grotesquely comical, the way you might laugh at something that makes you uncomfortable. But it's never outright jokey, which makes some of the scenes even more disturbing. But then again, it never really elevates itself from the stale plot of parents as would-be cannibals.

And when the conclusion hits, it manages to cannibalize the entirety of the film by portraying not a twist but a simple, foreseeable ending; I'll give you hint and say that it's one of the two outlined above. It's not that Parents needed a mindblowing twist - it just didn't do anything that a half-hour episode couldn't do much more succinctly.

Updates, requests, and other

2012-01-12T23:45:00.001-05:00

For the new year, I'm really looking to update and promote the blog. I've noticed visitors and commenters have been slacking off as of late, and I'd really like to keep this blog afloat but still make it a bit more professional-looking. That's why I'm looking for a graphic artist who can help me with my header, and an HTML coder who can help me turn the blog's layout into something that looks more like an official website.

If you know of someone who could either design my blog header into something graphically entertaining and yet horrifying, please contact me! And if you have ideas or know of someone for a new blog layout, please get in touch.

Also, Viewer Vomit is coming back, and this time, it will be strictly Netflix streaming-only films, to make it easier for myself and others who want to participate. Since I no longer subscribe to Netflix and use my friend's account, I can only get movies on the streaming website. But that means that the picks will be easier to obtain. If anyone has any suggestions for the next Viewer Vomit movie, drop them off in the comments section. I might also hold an official vote later in the month, and I'll establish a deadline soon.

Other than that, I'm working on a few things, like getting some review movies and books done that I received during the hectic holiday season (Halloween and Christmas). But along with that, expect a review of the finale of American Horror Story, a retrospective/appreciation for Ugly Americans, and the same great columns like The Evil Ad, with a return of Graphic Thursday hopefully (it's always iffy since I don't have a scanner at home).

Let me know if you'd like to see anything else on the blog. Like always, if you have news, review requests, or updates, email me at rynepbarber@gmail.com.

Book Review - Morning Is Dead by Anderson Prunty

2012-01-11T20:52:00.001-05:00

I think that American Horror Story's first season can attest to the fact that when strange things occur during your story, you have to somehow explain it later on. That show had lots of 'splaining to do once the first episode finished its two hour run of multitudinous ghosts, goblins, and freaky old women (like Constance). So it's important to note that when things get all spacey within a story, there's got to be some realistic (or at least, sensible) explanation for the whole thing. In Morning Is Dead by Anderson Prunty, the plot is thick with strange and supernatural occurrences, but it's missing the essence of why these things need to be in the novella in the first place.

The book centers around a small town, and the main character, Alvin. Alvin's chronicles are a bit mystifying and are difficult to explain in one succinct paragraph, so I'll abbreviate a little bit: he's sucked into a night world of his former town, which is now populated by drug-addled cops, irradiated humans, and demolition men who are trying to blow up his house, with his wife still in it. At the same time, the novel continues to cut away to a hospital room, where Alvin sleeps in a coma while his wife April reflects on what happened.

The novel is very fast-paced, and it has to be to incorporate all of the ideas that Prunty has for this night world. It's also very short, which means that we don't get to spend a lot of time with people like April, who is mostly mentioned by Alvin but is not developed beyond a means for expositional dialogue. There are also a few people that recur in Alvin's exploits, but again, their characterization is merely two-dimensional, briefly envisioned figures that help Alvin along his dark path.

Prunty has strange ideas that feel like a lucid dream state, but there are too many of them. So many strange things occur at once, without our protagonist feeling lost or confused, that they are all hard to accept, and most of them have little actual meaning in the full structure of the narrative. Instead, they often feel like added weirdness to a novella full of the strange, things that make Morning Is Dead as explicitly odd as possible. I don't think it's an awful thing, but I do feel like Prunty goes a bit too far since most of the ideas never really sprout plot lines.

Thankfully, the little vignettes that pop back into the normalcy of the real world at the hospital with April help to dispel some of the overwhelming bits of the night world that we don't understand. It all leads up to a twist, one that is almost evident from the start but is just veiled enough where the climax doesn't feel like a letdown. Still, in some ways, it's unfortunate that Prunty doesn't explore the possibilities of others finding this night world. Perhaps... well, I'll leave you to your own imagining of what the ending signifies.

Morning Is Dead is a fun read, but its hidden ideas can get a little aggravating, especially when Prunty never really takes the time to define the rules of this night world. Some of the dialogue is painful to read, but it's made up for with delightfully disturbing scenes including a violent sex act so heinous it fits in just right with Prunty's writing style. But Morning Is Dead struggles to balance the strange with the real, and it often leaves the reader wishing there was a little more thought put into the story rather than the creative creatures that populate it.

The Evil Ad #45

2012-01-10T11:30:00.001-05:00

I'm a bit underwhelmed by this Crest ad for Halloween. The simple pumpkin seems forced, like the ad has been hastily put together for the holiday by adding a jack-o-lantern and the Crest writeup without any real marketing scheme. True, the pumpkin features a snaggletooth mouth, but I can think of a way to make this ad look more festive - give the jack-o-lantern a gunked-up mouth, and have a toothbrush removing the jack-o-plaque. Or even feature some candy in the background, something that exhibits the kind of holiday cheer that some of the other companies featured in The Evil Ad have captured.

For a better example of Crest's Halloween marketing, check out the video below:

Movie Review - The Devil Inside

2012-01-09T17:04:00.000-05:00

Have you seen The Last Exorcism? The Exorcist? Any shaky-cam faux documentary? I can save you money, perhaps more assuredly than Geico, by telling you that if you've seen the aforementioned films, you've already seen The Devil Inside. And I could legitimately leave this review at that, continue on with my day, and feel content knowing that I've given you all the details necessary to help you decide if its worth spending the $7, $8, or even $9 to see this movie when you could turn around and see The Muppets instead.

But that's just not who I am. I have a need to talk about things like The Devil Inside, to express my opinions even when half of the movie theater around me walked out with their terse expressions of, "Well, that sucked," "Gay!", or even the trite "I want my money back" (no hyperbole included here - my favorite was from an old man who quipped, "Even for a documentary that sucked"). Because, yes, while the legion of eleven-year-old children were mostly spot-on with their quick remarks, The Devil Inside still had some redeeming qualities - although not enough to save it from all the hellish reviews its received.

You know that phrase "the devil is in the details"? The Devil Inside never learned it. Because the film is a faux documentary, there's a lot of preparation involved in setting up the realism of a documentary - showing the filmmaker, why he's working with the subjects in the first place, and capturing that grainy quality that all low-budget docs have. But The Devil Inside tries to capture so much of that realism that it ends up squandering most of its runtime on silly scenes involving our protagonist, Isabella (Fernanda Andrade), traveling around Italy, trying to decipher how she can get her mother an exorcism without going against the Vatican.

Unfortunately, these scenes all seem to occur between the only scary scenes in the film - and it slows the pace of an already slow film down to nothing. A fake documentary should be anything but as boring as real documentaries are, and yet The Devil Inside can't seem to balance a mix of fake "real" B-roll with the actual point of why a horror fan might watch the film.

It doesn't help that the movie is damned with a sense of melodrama, from the way the doctors keeping Isabella's mother look at the camera to the absolutely dreadful acting from Ionut Grama as Michael the filmmaker - who, thank the devil, stays off the screen for most of the film. It's difficult to take things seriously when the professional exorcists are panting like the underworld's hounds in heat, when The Devil Inside steals almost entire lines from previous films, or when much of what the film finds scary is a woman with frizzy hair leaning into the camera and letting out a loud, tremulous screech.

There are some tense moments thanks to director William Brent Bell's smart idea to leave music out of the film. The silence is palpable, especially in a scene where an exorcism takes place in a dark basement and expectations are running wild. But the devil's game is off - none of these moments work because their execution is exactly the same as any other exorcism movie you've seen, complete with odd body contortions, stigmata, and wall-crawling. This isn't the devil in disguise, it's a carnival! It's too bad the theater didn't provide cotton candy.

I'm sure, though, that the loudest cries of outrage for the film came because of the ending. To save whatever surprise the film has, I'll simply say that the end is anticlimactic, and I'm being generous here. I think we all could have been appeased with the fact that The Devil Inside was fairly derivative if it at least had a decent ending. But it doesn't, and I don't blame this so much on the filmmakers as I do the entire genre of faux documentaries. My biggest problem is the fact that someone must compile the footage for our viewing, and there's no good way to get rid of the filmmaker while maintaining the realism of the documentary. With that said, the end of The Devil Inside makes Nic Cage's Season of the Witch look like an Oscar contender.

What you're left with at best is a complete ripoff of the genre, stripped down to bare bones and simplified for scaring young children and the half-blind, mostly deaf elderly. There would be an outrage if someone proposed a remake of The Last Exorcism only a year after it was released, right? Now imagine if that remake was marketed as a completely new film. Voila! The Devil Inside, served on a platter with deviled eggs.

Please take my survey.

The Devil Inside on Rotten Tomatoes

Horror Horizon - January 10

2012-01-07T10:40:00.000-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Primeval: Volume Three

"Monster hit Primeval roars back onto the screens for an extended third series. Still reeling from Stephen's death and with the depth of Helen's betrayal now revealed, Nick Cutter must fight to re-focus his embattled team. Cutter's crew are joined by some new recruits in the form of maverick policeman Danny Quinn, sparky Egyptologist Sarah Page, and the new leader of the ARC's security forces Captain Becker. But as the anomalies continue to present an unrelenting series of threats, the task in hand seems almost insurmountable. It's not just deadly creatures the team has to contend with, they also face a threat to the future of not just the ARC but of mankind itself. Prepare for more explosive action as Primeval bares its newly sharpened teeth."

Shriek of the Sasquatch

"Julie (Scarlet Salem, ''Strip Club Slasher'') and Nick (Donny Versiga, ''Sinister'') are on a road trip which derails after they become involved in a series of gruesome murders committed by what seems to be a large ape-like creature. Will either of them survive to learn the secret of the Sasquatch? ''Shriek of the Sasquatch'' comes in the tradition of retro hits such as ''Grindhouse'' and is packed with drive in-style fun from cult director Steve Sessions."

The Summer of Massacre

"It's been 36 years since Jesse s loving mother was raped by his biological father. Now, after hiding and running their entire lives in fear of this murderous rapist --- He has found them! A group of Christian teenagers are stalked, maimed and burned by a local legend in a haunted forest."

Otherwise known as the summer we didn't go to summer camp for English review.

Gurozuka

"A fun getaway turns into a journey to Hell for some teenage girls visiting an isolated house to rehearse and perform a play for their private movie club. Taking the trip with an adult chaperone, the girls learn that a previous club member supposedly went missing in the house, and another went insane! Shortly after they arrive, a mysterious videotape is found with footage of a violent killer wearing a Japanese deigan mask. Is this footage real or fake? Soon, their food and equipment disappears and one of the girls is haunted by ghostly visions of the masked demon. Someone or something is in the house, and gruesome death awaits those who cannot escape!"

A Darker Reality

"A group of women wake up in a cold cement basement. Drugged and terrified they find themselves captive to a depraved psychopath whose blood-lust and insanity knows no bounds. Police Detective Balasco and psychiatrist Dr. Metcalfe team up in a desperate attempt to locate the girls and their soon to be murderer a serial killer known as Ghost. But time is running out as Ghost s sick experiments begin to leave the girls tortured beyond recognition. To survive, the girls must band together in a last attempt to save themselves from a fate far worse than death."

Psychotica

"Caught in the middle of a menacing social experiment, a group of teenage heroin addicts barricades themselves inan abandoned farmhouse in order to kick the habit. But they must also overcome the murderous forces within the house, as well as the threat that is closing in from down the road. With nowhere to run, they must face their greatest fears and fight for their very survival..."

Movie Review - Case 39

2012-01-06T13:06:00.001-05:00

It's tough to do a satanic-kid-who-wants-to-kill-you film justice right now. The Omen stole most of that glory away from current filmmakers, and there was also a little film called The Exorcist that defined kids as evil incarnate. The real problem is that you often know exactly what you're getting when you see a horror movie that centers around a child - and that's exactly what Case 39 is, whether you like it or not. Because for all of the filler about child psychology, parental abuse, and social worker case woes, there's a central feeling that the film's little damaged child Lillith is anything but a frail, good-natured orphan.

It's difficult to circumvent these viewer expectations, but I'll concede that Case 39 attempts to by characterizing Lillith's environment as a messy, unstructured home life filled with parents who hate her. By showing her original family in such a nasty light, the film at least takes the time to attempt to develop

Lillith as a normal girl before having her talk in demonic voices and whisper sweet nothings about murder in her classmates' ears. But it's quickly apparent, even with the eerie parents shooting darts at Renee Zellwegger from afar, that Lillith will be the devil.

That's okay, really, and many movies have recycled old plot lines in order to spice the up again with new ideas. Unfortunately, Case 39 is not one of those films, and instead it progresses exactly how you'd expect it to almost all of the time. Despite the tension of the beginning, Case 39 loses all of its dread and terror once Lillith comes to stay its her social worker. Is it because the little girl is not terrifying? No, not really, because a very startling scene between her and Bradley Cooper tells me otherwise - gurl's got some menace to her. It's just that Lillith is never really given the chance to stretch her bounds as a creepy little girl. The film thinks it much scarier to give her deep, staticky speech like Lucifer and have her skin change to a pale lucidity thanks to bad CGI, or even randomly throw in a hallucination of a zombie for kicks.

Even then, though, with a little tense build-up, it could have been somewhat spine-chilling. But Case 39 focuses too much on the backstory, the paperwork, the investigation, with Renee Zellwegger spending most of her time poring over documents and photographs and trying to track down people who can help her. There's not enough moments where Lillith actually does something, though when she does it often does make her seem more devilish. Bradley Cooper's demise is clever, and it genuinely looks good, although there is the moment where CGI makes its return and overshadows the naturality of the hornets.

While Case 39 isn't a total washout, and there are some moments where the film takes advantage of its child star, it's really nothing that you haven't seen before. And since much of the plot consists of trembling nder the gaze of Lillith, there's little action to get excited about. If you enjoy Renee Zellweger holding her hand to her mouth while staring at a photograph or document, you might find Case 39 somewhat enjoyable. But even the promise of the devil can only hold your attention for so long.

Case 39 on Rotten Tomatoes

Compiling 2011: The Worst Movies I Saw This Year

2012-01-05T16:20:00.001-05:00

While I see some pretty terrible movies every single year, it seemed like 2011 was a banner year for them. For those of you who participated in my Halloween Fifteen, you probably know the amount of suck that was compiled on that list. I do apologize for those films, and hope next year that list will suit viewers of good cinema much better.

Some of those films will be making their appearance on this list; others are surprises, especially since they got some pretty high praise this year. Like most lists, this is solely subjective, based off of my own tastes for horror, and if you disagree, it's all the more reason to post your own best of/worst of list in the comments section. But right now we're going to siphon through those terrible films that helped make 2011 one of the bleakest movie years for me.

The Fourth Kind

Though this film had some genuinely freaky twists, the movie became too focused on its docudrama plot. The splicing of "real" footage with the cinematic reenactments became to heavy-handed, and The Fourth Kind often spiraled out of control, sometimes with four different camera shots of the same action happening on-screen at once. It was a good effort to give aliens the same mind of treatment ghosts got in Paranormal Activity, but it just didn't fit together into a cohesive film.

Let Me In

Talk about too much expectation. Let Me In was such a disappointment to me since I liked the original so much; going from the intensely cold atmospherics of Let the Right One In to the watery plot line of the Americanized remake made me hate the idea of remaking films even more. This flick wasn't necessary, and it certainly did not live up to the high dramatics of the original, which was compelling without the need for explicit expository dialogue. If you're interested in the story, most definitely read the book, then see the Swedish movie and skip this one entirely.

The Curse of the Werewolf

This is an early Hammer film, and like those at the time, it's quite slow throughout. But it's also entirely boring, a lengthy film that hearkens back to the Universal monsters without capturing any of the sincerity from the monsters. There's nothing that stands out about The Curse of the Werewolf except for an incessant need to slow the pace down to an absolute crawl.

Family Secret

Based on the budgets of all of the other films on this list, Family Secret probably doesn't deserve to be on here. But it really was one of the mot excruciating films I saw this year, an incredibly low-budget indie horror film with an amateurish cast. The overacting in this film is like a tenacious bout of athlete's foot; it seems as though it's progressing and never clears up. The script is rather good, which is a shame because the entire film is ruined by the acting. It also features some bland, repetitive killings, meaning it's not worth the effort to sit through.

Deadtime Stories Vol. 1

I'm sorry, but I feel George Romero has really lost what makes a good horror film. This is especially apparent after viewing the atrocious Survival of the Dead; I must admit, though, it has been a long time coming. Deadtime Stories Vol. 1 is a compilation of tales that I certainly would not want to put my name on, nor would I ever curate such a batch of films that I would not recommend to anyone. Even Romero's brief interludes explaining the next shorts are painful to watch, thanks to astoundingly bad puns and Romero's monotones. Out of the four films compiled, only two are mildly respectable; the others are matched evenly with Survival. I had a rough outing this year with Romero, and I can only hope that his newer movies don't ruin the old classics.

Insidious

This might just aggravate the masses, but I found Insidious contrived and often ridiculous in its depiction of a haunted family. The first half had some top-notch atmosphere to it, but th second half often fell into a pit of utter disrepair with its terrible CGI and laughable demonic monster. At the end of the film, I found myself wishing that Insidious had just stuck to what it did best - creepy scares that utilized genre stereotypes, rather than creating a ludicrous finale about bogeymen.

Dishonorable Mentions

Invitation to Hell

The Plague

The Creature from the Haunted Sea

The Brain That Wouldn't Die

The Gingerdead Man

The Noose: Network Awesome's 8 days of viewer-picked TV

2012-01-04T14:08:00.001-05:00

If you're sick of TV re-runs and sweeps week, you're not the only one. My DVR used to be packed to the max, and now it's down to 50%. But Network Awesome's got you covered, at least for this week, with eight days of online television courtesy of viewers like you.

The website pulls videos from YouTube each day for a block of six different shows. For their one-year anniversary, they've decided to host eighty days of different programming, six shows each day, for a lineup of must-see TV that's not on NBC. View the whole list below:

"Jan 1st:
Live Music Show - The !!!! Beat
American Folk Blues Festival 1962-1969
Collection: Early Japanese Animation 2 (Kenzo Masaoka)
Doc - The Great American Cowboy (1973)
Collection: The Dana Carvey Show
Movie - Enthiran (2010)

Jan 2nd:
Live Music Show - Amazing Drummers
Collection: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
The Films of Sally Cruikshank
Electra Woman and Dyna Girl: The Spider Lady
Collection: Vintage Computer Graphics 1
Movie - Demon Seed (1977)

Jan 3rd:
Live Music Show - Animatronic Bands
Terry Gilliam's Do It Yourself Animation Show
Collection: The Commercials of Jim Henson
Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout
Doc - Paris is Burning (1990)
Doc - The Legend of Leigh Bowery

Jan 4th:
Live Music Show - Keith Fullerton Whitman
The Films of Norman McLaren
Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land
The Century Of The Self - Episode 1: Happiness Machines
Buckminster Fuller: The Fuller World
Buckminster Fuller - Everything I Know - 26 (Last show!!!)

Jan 5th:
120 MB
Mutilator: Hero of the Wastelands
Doc - Synth Britannia
ART - Nam June Paik & Ryuichi Sakamoto - All Star Video
Doc - CYBERPUNK
Movie - The Holy Mountain

Jan 6th:
Live Music Show - The Women Of Punk (1)
Andy Kaufman - My Breakfast with Blassie
GI Joe PSAs
Collection - Derek Waters presents: Drunk History
Talk Show - Charles Bukowski
Movie - Dead-End Drive In

Jan 7th:
The Films Of ... Ray & Charles Eames
Live Music Show - Ice Cream Trucks
The Prisoner - Ep07 - Many Happy Returns
Collection - David Lynch Commercials
Doc - Big River Man

Jan 8th:
Live Music Show - SPARKS
DOC - Who Is Poly Styrene?
WAYS OF SEEING
DOC - NY77: The Coolest Year in Hell
Errol Morris' First Person: The Killer Inside Me
Movie - Rabid Dogs (Mario Bava, 1974)"

Now we're joining them a little late, but that doesn't mean that you can't enjoy four more days of great programming from Network Awesome, does it? Head on over to the links above to catch some of the best series you're not watching.

Book Review - The Dog Who Knew Too Much by Spencer Quinn

2012-01-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

It's hard to imagine our animal friends as anything but human. I mean, my girlfriend has a three chihuahuas, a each with a different personality, and we could swear that they're all just human spirits living in the bodies of small furry dogs. For pet owners, the animals take on the form of family members, and it wouldn't seem right not to include them in the family activities. Spencer Quinn recognizes the power of pets in our everyday lives, and he has infused his Chet and Bernie mystery series with a dog that seems almost more human than some of the perps that commit the crimes the two have to clean up.

The Dog Who Knew Too Much is the fourth book in the Chet and Bernie series, and that's evident in the characterization of the main protagonists of the novel. At this point, Quinn has grasped the aspects of his series that make it such a compelling read: the little vignettes from Chet about his master Bernie, the jokes that Chet takes too literally, the dialogue between the two that feels naturally like two best friends riffing together.

Yet that also means that Quinn must manage to do something different within this novel, and he does by separating Chet and Bernie for quite a while during this narrative. After Bernie takes a bodyguarding case from a woman nervous for her child, the two wander into backcountry trouble with a corrupt sheriff and judge; during their case, Bernie is arrested, and it's up to Chet to sniff out the bad guys and get Bernie back.

With Chet narrating, the story is interestingly told from a dog's perspective, and since Bernie is out of the picture for much of the book, Quinn is able to give some details about how Chet adds up to the star detective team. Quinn moves the novel along at a rapid pace, but he also takes some time to make sure that Chet points out his favorite things about Bernie; the familiar puns from the other books in the series make a return here as well, and for those who haven't read a Chet and Bernie novel before, it might take a little while to get sed to Quinn's humor. Much of it is simple misunderstanding from a dog's perspective, and some jokes can go over the head of a serious reader.

So Chet is the big focus of the novel, but other recurring characters make their appearance as well. It's nice to see Quinn experimenting a bit, branching out by giving Chet a chance to shine on his own. But there are some instances where I felt myself craving some good old-fashioned detective work from Bernie, which is few and far between in the story. Instead, the plot centers around Chet finding a way to save Bernie; at times, the main crime seems diminished because of Bernie's rescue.

Still, The Dog Who Knew Too Much is another strong entry in a series that breathes life into a waning genre. Pet lovers will wag their tails over Chet, a lovable dog whose strong characterization means readers will find something they can recognize in their own pets. And those who love mysteries will also find this tale a twisty but simple novel to pant over.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T12:01:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to log on to say that I wish everyone a happy new year. If you really want to scare yourselves today, head on out to see that atrocious film New Year's Eve currently playing in theaters. Here's to another good year of horror!

Horror Horizon - January 3

2011-12-30T14:09:00.003-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the new year (see what I did there? In layman's terms, the coming Tuesday). Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Contagion

"Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Laurence Fishburne and Bryan Cranston, along with medical journalist Sanjay Gupta, explore the real science of global viruses and what they mean to the human race. The world is preparing for the next biological disaster...but is it too late?"

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Season Five

"Reunite with the "Master of Suspense," Alfred Hitchcock, for more of the mind-boggling twists and devious thrills synonymous with one of TV's greatest shows, Alfred Hitchcock Presents. In the fifth season, delve into 38 stories of greed, larceny, revenge and murder where every character holds a guilty secret and a misleading "MacGuffin" lurks in every corner. Featuring some of Hollywood's brightest guest stars, including Walter Matthau, Steve McQueen, Peter Lorre, Dick Van Dyke, William Shatner and Burt Reynolds, it's five discs of delicious mysteries from the icon whose highest hope for his audience was to 'give them pleasure - the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.'"

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

"Sally, a young girl, moves to Rhode Island to live with her father and his new girlfriend in the 19th-century mansion they are restoring. While exploring the house, Sally starts to hear voices coming from creatures in the basement whose hidden agenda is to claim her as one of their own."

Shark Night

"When Sara and her friends arrive at her family’s Louisiana lake house, they quickly strip down to their swimsuits for a weekend of sexy fun in the sun. But they soon discover the lake is infested with hundreds of flesh-eating sharks — and a few equally dangerous human predators — that turn their killer vacation into a bone-crunching battle to stay alive!"

Red: Werewolf Hunter

"The modern-day descendant of Little Red Riding Hood brings her fiancé home to meet her family and reveal their occupation as werewolf hunters, but after he is bitten by a werewolf, she must protect him from her own family."

Don't Let Him In

"What if you invited a serial killer on holiday? Heading off for a weekend in the country, Paige and Calvin reluctantly allow Calvin's brash younger sister to bring along Tristan, an arrogant city trader she's picked up in a one-night stand; but when the group learn a brutal serial killer is plaguing the area, Paige must confront the disturbing truth about Tristan."

1313: Wicked Stepbrother

"Now 18 years old and very wealthy, JARROD MYCROFT is horrified to learn that a faceless killer is celebrating his birthday by filling his mansion with the corpses of his closest friends…"

1313: Actor Slash Model

"An embittered actor decides it’s time to slash a few models after losing a life-changing role to some guy who looks good with his shirt off…"

American Scream King

"When two guys get a hold of a camera from a debt, they decide to make a horror movie since most of them are cheesy and cheap anyways. They know nothing about special effects or make-up so why not just kill people for real while filming their movie?"

Paranormal

"The Truth will Expose the darkness! Best-selling novelist Greg Evans is struggling with the worst case of writer's block in his career. In a desperate search for inspiration, Greg turns to a group of paranormal investigators and quickly finds himself immersed in a world he is not prepared to face. Together, he and the ghost hunters begin to pull back the supernatural curtain for proof and answers, but the truth will expose the darkness, and no one will return the same. Produced by Cross Shadow Productions (Pray. and Pray 2: The Woods), this inspirational thriller also includes a Bible study and family discussion guide with thought-provoking questions about researching topics related to evil, believing in ghosts, controlling anger, and living by faith rather than sight."

Attack of the Vegan Zombies

"Joe and his wife Dionne have had yet another bad crop for their winery. Faced with the prospect of losing the family farm, Dionne convinces her mother (a witch) to cast a spell upon next year's crop. The crop is such a success that Joe hires some college students to help them harvest. However, when a nosy neighbor begins poking around in the fields, he finds out more than he bargained for. Now the question isn't how to best harvest the crop, it's how to keep from being harvested!"

Compiling 2011: The Best Movies I Saw This Year

2011-12-28T21:17:00.001-05:00

As most of my readers know, I'm not the most current horror blogger on the Interwebs. I'm lucky to get out to the movie theaters, even luckier to catch new flicks on DVD unless they're sent directly to me. Even then, it takes me a while to get to them, meaning that when you read my review, the movie has already been out for a few weeks, or in most cases, decades. I'm working on that, I promise.

Nevertheless, it's difficult for me to participate in the annual year-end list when I haven't seen most of the movies that have come out this year. So instead of trying to fudge my way through an incomplete list, I figured I would point out the best films that I saw in 2011, regardless of their release date. Some of these movies are from 2011; some are not. All are films that I saw for the first time this year. Check it out below. They are in no particular order.

Black Swan

Black Swan was a twister of a film, full of suspense and some beautiful cinematography. At its core was a rather simple archetype of the psychological drama infused with the beauty and poetics of ballet and Swan Lake. More than that, though, was the stellar performance by Natalie Portman, along with dream-like fugues that elevated the film from oppressive to downright dreary. And whether you found the ending rewarding or disappointing, the dance to get there was well worth it.

Inception

Though I'm hesitant to include this on a list that features less action movies than horror, I will say that the Nolan brothers' Inception was a warped trip that hooked me from its opening. Despite its reliance on heady exposition to reveal the plot, the ingenious ways the film ventured into dreams was a pot smoker's delight. It was a film that made you feel like you were on LSD, without the dangers of actually falling from a ten-story building. Plus, it didn't hurt that Leonardo DiCaprio gave an emotional performance, though mostly similar to his miserable character from Shutter Island.

Black Death

Black Death unfortunately had a limited release, and most people probably missed it. Thankfully, it did show up in Redboxes and on Netflix instant; for fans of plague-era period pieces, viewers could do much worse (say, like the Nick Cage flick Season of the Witch) than this film. Black Death fused horror with the real terrors of religious persecution, crafting a witch hunt that constantly toys with the viewer's sense of truth and fiction for a tense, gritty experience. Plus, there's never a clear bias behind the story, meaning that the specifics of religion aren't targeted but simply the dangers of becoming wrapped up within a belief system.

The Devil's Backbone

An early film from Guillermo del Toro, The Devil's Backbone fits right at home with fairy tale atmospher of del Toro's later Pan's Labyrinth. But whereas that film emphasizes the illusions of fairy tale worlds, actually taking the viewer to the gothic locales, The Devil's Backbone simply presents the idea of living in a fairy tale, of getting away from the darkness of war and the even darker side of human nature. The ghosts that haunt the film are at first imbued with terrifying presence, but they soon become more human than some of the characters who attempt to abuse their power. It makes The Devil's Backbone a horror film with a sense of purpose, a ghost story with a message other than revenge from the afterlife.

Blood and Black Lace

Gialli are some of my favorite films, but I have to admit that they can certainly be done wrong. Blood and Black Lace is certainly not one of the poorer films in the genre, and it is rightfully one of the most revered giallo. That's because it captures the spirit of the genre perfectly: the coldness of the dark atmospheres coupled with the beauty of bright colors; a killer that eludes classification until the very end of the film; distinctive deaths infused with a sense of artistry.

The Caller

This was a surprising film that at first came off very similar to films like When A Stranger Calls. Instead, it was quickly apparent that The Caller was interested more in toying with the idea of interdimensional relations, the psychosis of an apartment dweller who finds that she's speaking with a caller who nice lived in apartment years ago. What ensues is a delightfully scary, suspenseful film about a woman trying to uncover a past that seems to exist solely in her imagination.

Buried

I'll be the first to admit I had my reservations about a film set almost entirely within a coffin under the ground. But what could have dissolved into an hour and a half of dithering with an inexperienced actor actually became an extremely tense film thanks to Ryan Reynolds' portrayal of an innocent man captured by terrorists and left to die by a government who cares more for their image than the people that do the dirty work for them. And there's no cop-out by director Rodrigo Cortes; the inevitability of the situation indicates that Buried will end with a happy ending, but instead Cortes presents an emotional, disturbing finale, one that characterizes Reynolds and his family with barely any expositional dialogue. It's an indictment of American negligence; it's also a film that forces the viewer to think about those that are fighting for us, those that are pulled into a predicament they didn't start, those that feel that killing for our country is the right thing to do, and those that don't lift a finger to end a mistake.

Scream 4

I know that many will disagree with me here; but my review and subsequent addition to this list does not come solely from my early obsession with Scream when I was younger. Wes Craven's return to his franchise smacks of the same metafiction that made New Nightmare such a success for the Nightmare on Elm Street saga. Scream 4 manages to capture the characters of the earlier films while adding successful new ones; it also subverts the problem of the Twlight-like teen characters by giving them dark backgrounds and little else. The film keeps the viewer guessing until the very end, and it even manages to combine remake twists and equally subvert them by turning new genre cliches on their heads. Some might find Scream 4 a trite way for Craven to make a few bucks off a dead series; but the movie successfully parodies the horror genre just as it did ten years ago, except this time it's updated so well that one can't help but root for another film in the series as long as it can capture the same essence.

Upcoming changes for the new year

2011-12-28T17:28:00.001-05:00

At this point, The Moon is a Dead World has been around for about five years, and in its run it has changed a little from the original intentions I once had. This is a good thing, because I started out thinking that I would only cover horror movie reviews here. Instead, the blog has turned into a hybrid (perhaps somewhat inconsistent, but I'm only one person) of different columns; but I'm running out of patience with some of them.

For the new year, I'm thinking of trying to cover more essays and editorials. But I'm also looking for ideas on what you'd like to see. One of my New Year's resolutions is to go out and see more horror movies n theaters - though avid readers will recognize that I also said that last year. I'd like to get more current here.

I'd also like a new, more professional layout for the blog, something that looks more structured and less cluttered. If anyone could help me with this (say, like creating the HTML for it), I'd certainly use the help, and I'd try to make it worth your while.

But really, let me know what you'd like to see here. I'm always trying to improve the site, and if that means more work for me, it just keeps me busy working on the things that I love. Thanks for sticking with me for so long.

Look for a post coming up that compiles my favorite horror movies I saw in 2011 - not necessarily those from 2011, though.

The Noose: Hitchcock's Birds inspired by leaky johns?

2011-12-27T21:53:00.001-05:00

A recent study conducted by Sibel Bargu uncovered a surprising finding for the apparent cause of a 1961 bird attack n the Monterey Bay area. Bargu and company, studying plankton and algae along with the stomach contents of animals from the area, found that the birds were most likely poisoned by toxins from the sealife the birds ate. Even more surprising about the finding - people are still studying this rare occurrence five decades later.

Of course, much if this news has no bearing on the Alfred Hitchcock movie the event inspired. But it's still ironic to note that one of the most revered horror movies of all time (and particularly, the most horrifying film for my mother that resulted in her extreme dislike of birds) could have been caused simply by toxic septic sludge leaking into the surrounding areas. Thank you, shit, for perhaps making movie history.

Source: USA Today

The Evil Ad #44

2011-12-27T18:36:00.001-05:00

Anyone who owns a cat knows that they can be quite demanding when they're hungry, which makes this commercial for Whiskas cat food even funnier. It's those damn cat eyes; they don't work the same as puppy dog eyes, that's for sure, and when it's paired with a thunderstorm and the fact that the cat seems to be missing ears, it makes for a funny TV spot - and perhaps a warning for cat owners. Don't say Target didn't warn you when your cat attacks during a dark and stormy night. Also, see Sleepwalkers.

Film Short Review - House Call (2011)

2011-12-26T12:46:00.000-05:00

Film shorts are difficult to write, especially because there's not a lot of time to work with. If you think about the amount of time full-length movies spend simply on atmosphere and dialogue-free character shots, it's easy to see that short films must be overly simplified to mix character exposition with the dramatic movements of the plot. With that said, it's also imperative that the short film be able to produce a certain amount of feeling from the audience, a pathos that stems from the characters - and that job is delegated to both the writer and the director, who must choose the scenes they want to show wisely.

Erik L. Wilson takes on both of these roles as writer and director of "House Call", a short film that's currently being shopped around at various film festivals. At seventeen minutes, "House Call" is actually a longer-running short film, but that doesn't mean that it's able to hit all of the successes of a longer film. Instead, "House Call" proceeds rather mundanely throughout its entire run, with a lukewarm plot that feels ripped straight from I Know What You Did Last Summer. In the film, an old shamanic woman targets a woman and her boyfriend on their one-year anniversary since she knows the dirty secret the woman holds I side of her.

Ensuing is a demonic possession and a couple of moments that are minority suspenseful, fairly tepid slasher movie fare until the final plot reveal. Nothing about the plot stands out - there aren't any surprise twists, no successful scares, and not even a very gory killing at that. It doesn't help that "House Call" has very weak character development; we don't know much about the couple and they barely communicate besides an awkward sex scene that seems to correspond with an incantation performed by the witch.

Plus, the only exposition we get about the quick murder that the woman commits at the beginning of the film comes from a dialogue between the couple, a painful expression that this man has hurt the woman in the past and that he needs to be stopped. A visual flashback would have made her motivations a bit clearer; instead, the viewer is forced to speculate on their own, and it means that there's no strong connection between audience and characters.

Slash to the Point: Rarely does "House Call" elevate from a very basic slasher, and the problem at its core is that it wastes too much time on unimportant scenes; a little more character development would have at least involved the viewer in the characters' dilemmas. However, what we get instead is an overly long depiction of spousal base at the hands of a witch, with hokey dialogue, some pretty bad acting by the male actors, and some indie heavy metal that feels quite out of place in the film.

Have Yourself a Bloody Little Christmas: Killer Kringle - Why Santa Should Star in More Horror Movies

2011-12-25T00:05:00.001-05:00

There are a few horror movies set around Christmas lingering around, and most seem like a perversion of the holiday. Killing on Christmas is like, well, pissing on baby Jesus's manger while sacrificing a goat head to Satan. But the whole idea behind Santa Claus can certainly be construed as a dark admission of the evil behind humanity; not only does Santa reward for good, he punishes for bad, making him a higher power that can either praise or smite depending on his mood. Below, we'll look at five different reasons why Papa Elf makes such a mesmerizing horror character - and no, it's not just because his belly resembles a snowy mountain pass full of danger.

Slave Labor and King Claus

If anyone told you they were harboring a bunch of little people in their basement, forcing them to make toys for well-behaved children, you'd rightfully call the police with the intention of reporting a possible pedophile-kidnapper. But for the mysterious Santa Claus, who retreats to a hideout deep within the snowy climes of the North Pole, it's only a natural, unionized workshop. Perhaps these "elves" are simply children Santa has snatched during his visits to the kiddies' houses on Christmas Eve, plucking them from the sugarplum dreams as they're lured by the promises of toys and candy canes. Has anyone ever begun a strike at the North Pole? Or does Santa rule with an iron hand, simply "exiling" those who stand against his low wages and overtime work schedules?

The Allure of Santa's Lap

In our politically correct world, it's surprising that the tradition of sitting on Santa's lap remains. Our ultra-sensitive culture assumes that any grown adult touching a child could be a sign of pedophilia, but mall Santas continue to find work with the sole purpose of having a child cuddle up on their lap. The context makes sense, but the execution is a little strange - perhaps children could just approach Santa, give him a stiff handshake, and hand over a list of their demands like bank robbers holding Santa hostage. The holiday has become less like a special holiday celebrating a few choice gifts given to deserving children; instead, Santa is almost forced to become a superhuman man whose sole job is to deliver presents until the children want no more. He's got more than a lapful to deal with.

Chimney Thief

Santa doesn't knock before he makes his grand entrance; he doesn't even enter through the front door. He steals in through a secretive opening in the roof, like a bat trapped in the brick layers of the chimney. It's no wonder that Gremlins used this trope as a means of scaring children during the Christmas season - it's not a far stretch to think of Santa as a stranger sneaking into the house late at night, only to wind up in a fireplace coffin for Christmas day. Kris Kringle isn't unwanted in the house, but he certainly doesn't make his presence known to the hosts of the house. Isn't it hypocritical to allow Santa free reign to the house, but dictate that children be wary of strangers? The trust inherent in the belief of Claus means taking the mythical man for granted, acknowledging the extreme goodness of someone who could just as easily murder everyone in the house as he could leave wonderful presents beneath the tree.

Claus' Moral Compass

Like a god, Santa is able to pass judgment on humanity. He is Saint Nick, after all, but he's also glorified as a higher power who knows the deserving from the depraved. But what if Santa's moral compass is a bit off? Who's to say that Santa, knowing the goodness that lies in the hearts of all children, will simply deny a miserable child a gift during Christmas night? If he does leave the little one coal, doesn't that mean that Santa has a mean streak? And if he doesn't, does that make Santa a pushover who enables the mean-spirited, overlooking their sins in the hopes that they'll make a turn for the better next year? If we trust in a man who always gives to others without rules, it also skews the gray area within the definition of morality.

Santa the Spy

Perhaps the most disturbing idea behind the Santa Claus mythos is the fact that Santa has the ability to see you wherever, whenever. Saint Nick is an omnipotent being, and it's taken for a truth that he has the fortitude to observe what he needs to without seeing the, ahem, more private moments of our lives. Perhaps Santa knows when it's time to turn off his Spidey-sense, like when we're taking a dump in the bathroom or stripping nude for bed - but really, it's a bit offputting to me that Santa might be acting as a spy for the CIA as I'm typing this. If he is, I'm most certainly not getting presents tomorrow.

Unfortunately, this post comes a little too close for Christmas. Despite my warnings, I urge you not to seal up your fireplace, board up the windows, or tear down the tree this Christmas Eve. With any luck, Santa is the nice, caring man the movies make him out to be. And if there is an attack reported tomorrow on Christmas day that looks and feels a lot like Claus' doing, attribute it to the victim, who probably was quite naughty this year. Have yourself a very bloody (and merry) Christmas.

Seasons greetings,
The Moon is a Dead World

Movie Review - Red State

2011-12-23T20:05:00.001-05:00

Kevin Smith has tackled religious fanatics before. He's mocked just about everything in his comedies, from the aforementioned bible-thumpers to greedy capitalism to retail woes. It's no surprise that Red State feels embittered with the world at large, and not just with the sect of Jesus freaks that are the meat and potatoes of the film; Smith imbues Red State with a sense of misanthropy for all types of people, with no moral qualms of tackling politically incorrect ideas with rather descriptive aplomb. And all of this is set within a film that feels more like a horror movie than a comedy akin to Clerks or Mallrats.

The basic premise here is simple, really: a religious zealot, Abin Cooper (Michael Parks), sets up his compound within the small Kansas town of Cooper's Dell, ruling with an iron hand against all homosexuals, potential sodomites, and most likely minorities. The small group of perhaps twenty have been gathering automatic weapons for defense against an ensuing FBI investigation led by none other than John Goodman as Joseph Keenan.

Smith centers the movie around three teens who are lured into Cooper's compound by an attractive woman who promises via text message to participate in group sex with them. Swayed by the impressive set of assets they see on their iPhone, the teens grab some drinks, sideswipe the sheriff's car, and get trapped by the fundamentalists; the Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms force is called in to deal with the hostage situation, resulting in a firefight of epic proportions that leaves mostly everyone dead.

The structure of the opening is similar in style to most slasher films, where the nubile teenagers are doomed the moment they contemplate their baser human tendencies. Smith creates an obvious contradiction between the religious fanatics and the kids; the fanatics are definitely nutty, yes, and their eradication of potential homosexuals and rapists is atrociously displayed during a very extended sermon, but none of Smith's characters are entirely devoid of immorality. The teens, despite their naivete, are fairly depraved themselves - they did want to gangbang a young woman, we can't forget that. The same goes for much of the American Task Force, who don't seem to flinch at exterminating any of the religious zealots despite their pledge for fairness and penal justice.

But despite the strong semblance of themes, Smith never truly carries through with any of it. The teenagers' storyline is dropped quickly thanks to a surprising twist that's ultimately devoid of weight; a plot point featuring the sheriff's gay lifestyle could have added some depth to Stephen Root's otherwise lifeless character; the potential hostage diffusion situation is simply left adrift in thin air. To be fair, Smith's aims are certainly all over the place in Red State, and there are certainly hit-and-miss moments throughout.

John Goodman is a highlight here, and his appearance is the turning point for a film that seemed to begin a torture porn film. Where the opening of the flick tends to drag along as Smith attempts to exemplify Cooper as a vile, hypocritical preacher, Goodman's role moves the film along quite quickly. That is, until Smith stagnates with the potshots between the task force and the rebel religion.

But the subtle comedy leanings of Smith's writing are more prevalent in these latter moments of the film, where Red State begins to loosen its grasp on realism. The jokes are also the most pointedly obvious dialogues of Smith's criticism. There's one thing that Red State seriously fails to do, however, and that's leave the exposition out of the film. At times, Smith gets wrapped up so much in his own diatribes that his characters begin to spout off his own biases. The audience can't helped but feel ball-gagged themselves during this vitriolic rants; we're forced to swallow the stuff.

Slash to the Point: Red State has its moments as a horror comedy, but its obvious agenda means that it's difficult to take some of the more philosophical moments seriously. John Goodman ends the film with a thought - that people can get wrapped up in their own thoughts when they believe they're entitled to something, but that the worst type of people are the ones that simply believe - and it's a grandiose statement for a film that also offers up an entire fifteen minutes about venomous homosexual spittle and the limited mobility during a foursome. This is simply the nature that Red State constantly battles during its runtime: juggling the comedy of making fun of our nation's greatest problems while maintaining a dramatic undertone that hints at something much darker, sort of like a whisper from Kevin Smith that while this is funny, we need to do something about it. It's a solid attempt, but it doesn't always mesh.

Red State on Rotten Tomatoes

Holiday Horror Gifts #7: Drone music for the bleak and depressed

2011-12-21T17:16:00.001-05:00

I post a lot about death, doom, and black metal on the blog (see the discog posts I often used to do but have since put on hold), but rarely do I post about the more abstract and drifting art form that is drone music. There are a lot of really good drone artists out there, ones that push the boundary between music, soundscapes, and noise with limited rhythmic variance. Instead, they allow the listener to drift along on dreary guitar chords, synth peals, and thunderous bass. If you're interested in a more comprehensive (and very difficult to find) list of all the drone music I think is worth a listen - and this is getting into territory I cover on my other blog, Memory Wave Transmission - you can email me at rynepbarber@gmail.com and I'll spout of more names than a graduation announcer. But for now, I'll stick to the rather popular names in the genre right now - specifically, sunnO))), Grouper, and Oneohtrix Point Never.

sunnO))) is quite a popular band in the genre; they've been around for a while, and they've taken a page from Earth in their slow guitar compositions. Their output is sparse and generally difficult to find, and like my last gift idea (the Goblin biography), their newest release Agharti Live 09-10 will be difficult to find and quite costly if you do happen upon it. For those who'd rather give a more affordable release, the band also put out a collaboration with prominent noise group Nurse With Wound titled The Iron Soul of Nothing. It's not a cheap CD, since it was released in Austria and you'll have to pay exporting fees, but sunnO)))'s music is well worth the price and it's also remarkably similar to gloomy horror music.

The same is true of Grouper, although her musical excursions are somewhat less heavy and more depressingly bleak than sunno)))'s. Grouper's double-release this year, A I A, has been making top 50 charts right now for 2011, and that's definitely a release I would go out and grab. But she's also got a single LP out now, Hold / Sick, for a little taste of what's on offer.

Oneohtrix Point Never has also been making waves with his latest release Replica, which has graced top 50 charts with its presence thanks to its intensely intricate compositions. Flutes in drone? You'll hear it. Repetitive structures? Yep. And lots and lots of synth-driven distortions of sound, along with manipulations of old television ads. It's a complex art form worthy of your time, and those who find music a contemplative form of entertainment will enjoy reflecting on this album.

Television Review - American Horror Story: "Smoldering Children"/"Birth"

2011-12-20T11:58:00.001-05:00

Who knew that a couple of dead kids could turn American Horror Story into a living, breathing drama again? I'm heralding "Smoldering Children" as the best episode of this lackluster season for the show, a segment in the series where the writers put away their overactive imaginations to flesh out the stronger parts of the show: namely, Tate's confused perception of reality, Violet's obsession with him, and the undercurrents of emotional destruction that are always hinted at but never displayed with clarity. In these late episodes, there's finally a sense that something besides anger and betrayal resides underneath the house's supernaturality.

I'll start with the aforementioned "Smoldering Children" because of its powerful appeal. Finally, after Burned Man traipsing around, lusting after Constance, and trying to blackmail Ben with his ridiculous threats, the person of Larry shines through with a very touching, disturbing moment featuring his burnt wife and children. Not only does American Horror Story pull a scare here, it also manages to give Larry the characterization that's always been missing with him thanks to easy narrative depictions of his past life. Now that we've finally seen his wife and kid, who are living in a hell thanks in part to Larry's obsession with Constance, there's so much more depth to his character that I've really got to stop calling him Burned Man.

But it's not the only poignant moment of "Smoldering Children," no sir. We've also got a bombshell of a surprise dropped on us right at the end, and it involves a stinky, twisted corpse of Violet. SPOILER ALERT: Tate, who has been acting quite prickish lately, has actually been trying to protect Violet from learning of her suicide after she took all those pills earlier this season. Granted, the show has pulled this type of twist on us before; it's the same surprise (that wasn't really a surprise) when American Horror Story unveiled that Tate was a ghost, rather than a living patient of Ben's. Still, though, the way that this reveal is set up is actually a high point for the show - the devastation of Violet after she learns she killed herself, the terror of the exposed body as it rots in the attic, and the reality of what dying in the house really means makes Violet into a different person.

If there's one thing that the show missed this episode, it's making anything of Vivien being out of the house. There's not a whole lot going on with Connie Britton's character at this point, but that all changes with "Birth." If you haven't seen this episode, I suggest you avert your eyes. Some pretty sick spoilers go down here as well.

Vivien's pregnancy quickly turns into a terrifying case of the heebie-jeebies after a premature birth sequence leaves her dead. Not only that, but the terrifying baby also killed off its twin by stealing all of the nutrients; and who takes one of the children but Constance, who whisks it off under protection of a sheet.

The whole house pitches in to help Vivien in the ordeal, including the doctors who previously inhabited the house. It's nice to see them all come together to take Vivien's kids, but it's also incredibly naive to think that Ben and Vivien would be alright with dead surgeons and nurses cutting away at Vivien's vagina. There's something strange about the whole ordeal, a surreality that makes it horrific and yet corny at the same time - I just can't imagine thinking I'd be okay with a bunch of ghosts delivering my baby.

Yet that's just what happens. We also get a little bit more from the gay couple, who want to steal one of Vivien's babies for their own family until they realize (again? I thought this happened a couple of episodes ago?) that they don't love each other anymore. There's drama, even in the afterlife, and if you thought living forever with your significant other as a ghost would be fun, you should probably think again.

The subplot is somewhat useless, since nothing comes of it anyway besides a beatdown delivered to Tate. Eventually Ben and Vivien learn that Violet is dead, although their belief in this event is not apparent. That is, until Vivien dies and joins her daughter in the afterlife as a protector. It's a touching end to the episode, and it does mark a shift in the narrative - perhaps death is better for this feuding family, since the restoration of mother and daughter seems to lead to a peaceful aura between the two.

I'm left wondering how American Horror Story will tackle its last episode for the season. Now that Ben is left alone in the house with a demon baby, what will happen? How does he cope with all of this loss, except to forego reality by imagining that his family is still alive? It seems, to me at least, that American Horror Story will kill off this family for a reboot next season; two-thirds of the family are gone anyway, and it looks like Ben is definitely next on the chopping block. But then again, no one ever really leaves this house, do they?

Slash to the Point: Two glorious episodes leading up to the season finale is just the kick that American Horror Story needed. Granted, much of these episodes still falls into the "sloppy" category, but progress is progress no matter how sleek and sophisticated its exterior. I'm glad to see a big finish coming for the show, but I can't seem to dispel my feeling that the final episode of this hit-or-miss show will again falter.

Holiday Horror Gifts #6: Goblin sette note in rosso

2011-12-19T10:55:00.001-05:00

Know any fans of Dario Argento's work? How about the band that composed multiple synth soundtracks for him? Goblin has been around for years, crafting some of the finest (and okay, let's face it, some of the corniest) horror soundtrack songs the genre has seen. They've also influenced some of the newer bands with much of the same prog rock leanings; take, for instance, Zombi, who recently released a pretty fantastic new album titled Escape Velocity which would make for a good pairing of this book.

However, the problem with buying Goblin: Seven Notes in Red is the fact that it's all in Italian. Fabio Capuzzo has yet to release an English version, and it might pose difficult reading to those who don't speak the language. (Might I suggest finding a translator, which will cost you a pretty penny more for this book?)

But even if they can't read the book, think of it as a collector's item which will never get any use besides looking at the color photos. For the diehard Goblin fan, it's a must-have; it'll also drive them crazy having a tome of information on the band that they can't read.

If you need more information, or to order the book, head to the blog.

Horror Horizon - December 20

2011-12-17T10:27:00.001-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Straw Dogs

"A young couple (James Marsden and Kate Bosworth) moves to a quaint southern town. Soon their perfect getaway turns out to become a living hell when dark secrets and lethal passions spiral out of control. Trapped by a pack of depraved locals led by a ruthless predator (Alexander Skarsgard, TV’s True Blood), they face a night of agonizing suffering and endless bloodshed. Now their only hope for survival is to become more savage than their merciless torturers. Also starring two-time Academy Award® Nominee James Woods (Best Actor, Salvador, 1986 and Best Supporting Actor, Ghosts of Mississippi, 1996)."

Saint Nick

"You better watch out, because Saint Nick is coming town and he has some scores to settle in this horror story from the Netherlands. It's December, and Dutch youngsters are awaiting the arrival of Sinterklaas, aka St. Nicholas, who brings gifts to children who have been good all year. Meanwhile, Sophie (Escha Tanihatu) is a teenage girl who uses a letter from Sinterklaas as a way to beak the news to her unfaithful boyfriend Frank (Egbert-Jan Weeber) that they're over, and classmate Lisa (Caro Lenssen) makes some pocket money babysitting as the adults party and Frank impersonates one of Sinterklaas's helpers at a celebration for children. However, Goert (Bert Luppes), a local police officer, knows something the kids don't -- Sinterklaas is real and has a nasty disposition, rising each year to wreck bloody revenge for an act of terrible violence centuries before. SINT (aka SAINT) received its North American premiere at the 2011 Tribeca Film Festival."

Julia's Eyes

"From producer Guillermo del Toro (Pan s Labyrinth, The Orphanage) comes a tale of dread and terror from the darkest corners of reality. Julia, a woman suffering from a degenerative sight disease, finds her twin sister Sara hanged in the basement of her house. Everything points to suicide, but Julia is compelled to investigate what she intuitively feels is a murder case. Determined to retrace her sister s final steps, she is drawn into a maze of hidden threats and spiraling dread - a dark world that seems to hide a mysterious, malevolent presence. As Julia begins to uncover clues to the truth of her sister s death, those close to her begin to disappear. Her sight gone and confined to her sister s house, Julia soon finds herself trapped in a nightmare from which she cannot awake."

The Devil

"In 1981 The Devil was released upon unsuspecting audiences. They had no idea what they were in for. This film set a new standard for Asian Shock Cinema that would be often imitated but rarely equaled.

The Devil introduced the gut wrenching gimmick of live insect vomiting. As the vile She Devil appears people start puking up snakes, worms and all kinds of creepy crawlies."

Into the Lion's Den

"Bored with the West Hollywood gay scene, best friends Michael, Johnny and Ted have embarked on a cross-country road trip from LA to New York City. Though their friendship hits a few speed bumps along the way, the trio decides to have one last hurrah during their last night on the road. That s when fate brings them to The Lion s Den, a secluded backwoods bar where not everything is as it seems. As the three out-of-towners toast the end of their journey, someone at the bar is watching them and setting a deadly trap. Now, as closing time draws near, a night of unspeakable horrors is about to begin..."

Have Yourself a Bloody Little Christmas: Horror Out of Context #3

2011-12-15T17:28:00.001-05:00

It's not the holiday season if you haven't watched the seminal classic National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation yet. And if you're not a fan of it, well then you're just not my friend anymore and I don't want you to read this blog!

But with all kidding aside, this scene from the film is one of the funniest, and it's not because of Chevy Chase's inane remark to Todd about stuffing trees. It's a perfect representation of the moment when the killer is revealed just before a brutal massacre, brandishing his weapon of choice before he hacks the victims up with it. Notice the music as well: your standard brooding theme before a climactic shrill sting. It makes the perfect Christmas film even better, thanks to this little reference. Who needs The Nightmare Before Christmas?!

(Yes, I was just looking for an excuse to post a Christmas Vacation clip here.)

Television Review - The Walking Dead: "Chupacabra"/"Secrets"

2011-12-14T08:45:00.001-05:00

We haven't moved very far in the six or seven episodes in this season of The Walking Dead, and while that may seem like a good thing for character development around the Rick Grimes camp, there hasn't been much of that happening either. It's okay if the writers want to settle the action, ground it in something for a while because of emotional conflict. But when the plots of each episode drag out the same contrived dilemma, like finding Sophia or moving on from Hershel's farmhouse, things get old pretty fast.

"Chupacabra," though, is one of the first episodes this season that has managed to elicit an emotional response. Daryl sets out on his own to find Sophia, and it's not too unrealistic to believe that he might be okay with just his one-man killing machine skills. Along the way he runs into zombies, falls down a hill and twists his ankle to crap, and meets his brother Merle in a hallucination. He also finds a doll, which acts as a new lead in the search for Sophia - a plot movement we've been needing since she first left the group.

Thankfully, "Chupacabra" is such an exciting episode because it does spend time identifying Daryl as a person rather than one of a group. His ordeal sucks, yes, but it's also entertaining to watch, especially as he slings crossbows into the undead and limps back to camp just in time to get shot by fucking Andrea. The show needs more stand-alone episodes like this, ones where it can take time to develop one character without having to worry about what the other survivors are up to, what lame problems they have back at camp like Glenn's one-night stand with Maggie that will obviously develop into a two-dimensional romance based on lust from the fear of death (which it does).

While we're on the subject, Andrea doesn't get any less annoying; instead, she gets worse. Why would she snipe Daryl after the rest of the survivors had lowered their guns? The scenario doesn't make sense, and if we're supposed to understand Andrea's need to feel like a help to the group, it instead makes the viewer feel like she's rather useless, pulling the group down with her constant inner power struggles.

When it comes to "Secrets", however, The Walking Dead drops back into its old habits, merely attempting to maintain the norm while stretching out Laurie's pregnancy secret to incredible lengths. Finally, after what seems like forever (literally the entire series), Laurie tells Rick that she had sex with Shane - only to find out Rick already knew. It's a good character trait for Rick, and it makes us like him more because he understood and forgave Laurie even when she hid it from him; but it's also sort of an anticlimactic event, something we've been waiting for that never comes to fruition.

"Secrets" is a rather boring episode, too - Glenn and Maggie figure out their differences, Shane and Andrea bump uglies in a strange twist that feels a little too facile, and Hershel continues to be the grumpy old man in the house next door. This episode mainly functions as filler, a way to continue the stagnant trend of survivors surviving on a farm with their own set of interior conflicts. The only minor importance of this episode is the rift between Shane and Rick about what to do about Hershel's barn of zombies.

Slash to the Point: There are always good and bad episodes to shows, but The Walking Dead seems to avoid all attempts at a winning streak. With a good episode like "Chupacabra", it's even more of a letdown when the show follows up with a stale one like "Secrets". The show is still not moving forward, and viewers are going to get fed up quickly with the lack of motivation in these episodes.

Holiday Horror Gifts #3-5: Michael Crichton, Dean Koontz, and Stephen King

2011-12-13T09:44:00.000-05:00

If you live in the northeast like me, the holiday season is a perfect time to get family and friends books for Christmas. That is, if they enjoy reading - reading text messages doesn't really count. If that's your gift receiver's thing, though, there are a few books out by popular horror fiction authors that might get the ol' cerebellum working.

Michael Crichton, despite his recent death, has a new novel out with the help of ghost writer Richard Preston, a fan of Crichton's work. The manuscript was started by Crichton on hotel stationary, and about one-third of the book is Crichton's own work. Titled Micro, the novel's sci-fi plot focuses on the dangers of biotechnology and the advances in working with atomic matter. It will most likely be Crichton's final novel, and hopefully it will be a fantastic finish for a truly talented writer.

Also out for the winter season is Dean Koontz's new novel, 77 Shadow Street. It won't be here in time for Christmas (in fact, it releases two days later), but one can always use it as an excuse to give a late present. At last, Koontz seems to be breaking free of his novels where nasty killers decide to target unwary but herculean protagonists; 77 Shadow Street takes him back to his roots with a classic haunted house story about the Pendleton, a mansion with a horrific past and a very snooty name.

Finally, Stephen King's got a new tome out titled 11/22/63. If you haven't heard of it before now, it focuses on an alternate history where JFK was not assassinated. King ponders what that would be like; would Democrats and Republicans remain conflicted over abortion, gay marriage, the current state of the economy? Would we still be in a downward spiral where almost no one can afford gas, where college students graduate with a degree and still can't find decent jobs (hint hint)? This is not the same type of novel King generally writes, and it will be interesting to see how he grasps the techniques of writing an alternate history.

Convinced yet? There are plenty of pages out there for reading this holiday season. Many more I haven't listed here; authors are churning out their work at a frenetic pace now, and although it does flood the market with rather uninspired stories, it does leave the audience with a lot of night reading as well.

Have Yourself a Bloody Little Christmas: Movie Review - Black Christmas (1974)

2011-12-10T10:57:00.001-05:00

It's hard to separate the aura of Black Christmas from its legacy as a horror movie. Coming before Halloween and Friday the 13th, it's apparent that the film has had a lot of influence on countless slasher films after it, thanks in part to its lean, uncomplicated approach to a slasher film and the ways it uses camera positioning, suspect clues, and phone calls to encourage a sense of dread and fear in the viewer. And let's not forget that after Black Christmas, Bob Clark went on to direct one of the most successful Christmas movies of all time (A Christmas Story). The knowledge of the film's influence is intertwined within Black Christmas, but it must be set aside for an unbiased look how the yuletide terror stands up to the passage of time.

To be honest, Black Christmas is one of my favorite movies, and that's because of all of the elements in it that make it seem like such a dark Christmastime. Now that's not exactly what a movie is supposed to capture you with, but I will say that Bob Clark really knows how to set a Christmas scene. And yet everything feels very cold.

The film is set in a sorority house at Christmastime, and the girls are either moving out for the holiday or are getting ready to, when they receive some obscene phone calls from a man with many voices. Eventually, it becomes apparent that the man is more of a threat than his moans and groans from the phone, and the girls call in John Saxon(!!!) as a cop to sort the mess out. Meanwhile, we've got a couple of missing girls around town, a rape in the park, and an angry boyfriend who is bound and determined to force Jess (Olivia Hussey) to have her baby rather than abort it.

The trick to Black Christmas' plot is that Bob Clark weaves a lot of drama in with the actual horror of the story. The film is a slow burn, and it takes a little while for the movie to really get to its core point - and sometimes, it never gets there at all. But within the context of the slow-moving film, we get the nuances of the characters that never really comes forth in other slasher films because there's never enough time allotted to it. There's Barb's drinking, which is easy enough to depict without spending time with her; however, Clark hints at her unhappiness, the jealousy that she harbors deep inside her, and even the weaknesses she has before she dies like her asthma. The same is true for Peter, who is actually a rather minor character considering the important role he plays at the end of the film. His lust for his pianist dream is overshadowed by the fact that Jess is pregnant, and it's that edge between them that makes Peter such a prime suspect.

And as I said before, it's mostly a simple plot that Clark creates, something that we see over and over again as a pattern for these types of movies. But the creation of such strong character roles allows the viewer to look past the common tropes of horror to see the nuances of the drama within. The killer, Billy, is never explicitly shown, nor does he have an extensive backstory or an expositional break devoted to him. Instead, the story is told by the obscene phone calls, veiled within the killer's own strange depiction of his past. It's not a very descriptive version of Billy's past, and it requires a lot of piecing together from the viewer, but it's a more rewarding backstory for the audience than simply telling them exactly what's happening.

It also leaves some work for the viewer, who must put together the thematic qualities of Black Christmas in order to understand motivations. Even then, the idea behind the murders is subject to viewer speculation, meaning that one can watch the movie again and again to find new themes inherent within the script. Some are the same as the current trend in horror movies: police negligence, the dangers of being a woman. But there are also a number of devices Clark uses to show deeper imagery, like his structuring of camera angles and the distance of audience to characters. The colors are cold, even for their seasonal exuberance. And the death scenes are equally as chilling because of their realistic brutality.

Slash to the Point: Despite its slow meanderings through character development, Black Christmas is a seasonal horror favorite; it's a film that exemplifies how horror can create a realistically frightening experience by capturing true human emotion. It's also a perfect opposite to the yuletide tradition of Santa - instead of a wanted stranger sliding down the chimney, an unwanted stranger is secretly stowing away inside the attic. It's certainly not presents that Billy brings in Black Christmas, but it is a treat to watch the whole thing unfold.

Black Christmas on Rotten Tomatoes

Horror Horizon - December 13

2011-12-09T20:33:00.001-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well. Perfect for Christmas gifts!

Fright Night

"Senior Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) finally has it all. He's running with the cool kids and dating the hottest girl in high school (Imogen Poots). But all hell breaks loose when charming Jerry Dandridge (Colin Farrell) moves in next door. Charley thinks there's something odd about him, although no one - including his mom (Toni Collette) - seems to notice. But after too many of his classmates vanish under bizarre circumstances, Charley comes to an unmistakable conclusion: Jerry is a vampire preying on his neighborhood! Get set to sink your teeth into this thrilling, modern-day re-vamp of the wickedly entertaining horror classic. Featuring a star-studded cast and crawling with bonus, Fright Night will captivate you from the very first bite!"

For if your gift receiver suspects their neighbor is a vampire; or, if they're a woman (Colin Farrell!!!).

Intruder: Director's Cut

"It's 10 pm and the employees of Michigan's Walnut Lake Supermarket are in for a really bad night. The place is shutting its doors for good and the night crew has a long shift ahead of them... longer than they think! The lovely check-out girl has a deranged ex-boyfriend, the store's phone lines are cut, and the employees start dying in the most stomach-churning ways imaginable (courtesy of Academy Award®-winning KNB EFX Group). A deranged killer is on the loose in the grocery store! Can anyone stop this murderous intruder? Synapse Films is proud to present Scott Spiegel's INTRUDER, the holy grail of extreme gore cinema, in an all-new 2K high-definition transfer of the original uncut, uncensored version. Sam Raimi (director of THE EVIL DEAD and SPIDER-MAN) and Renée Estevez (TV's THE WEST WING) star in this cult film classic that critics call a gorgeous low-budget shocker that has long been one of the best kept secrets of the genre scene (Alan Simpson, Sex Gore Mutants). Be sure to look for Bruce Campbell (THE EVIL DEAD, TV's BURN NOTICE) in a cameo role!"

For the person who likes bad movies that are only redeemable because of Bruce Campbell.

Little Deaths

"Well-to-do home owners Richard and Victoria pose as religious do-gooders and lure homeless girls to their luxurious home. Apartment dwellers Claire and Pete invigorate their love life with a role-playing game with increasingly hazy boundaries. Jen and Frank, once prostitute and pimp, are now trying to make a go of things as an exclusive couple. Jen’s even in therapy with a psychiatrist, who is secretly working with her husband Frank. Each couple is in for a surprise. Richard and Victoria will have the tables turned on them by one of their lady victims; Claire will finally push Pete too far in their sexual game; and Jen and Frank can’t begin to imagine what their conspiring psychiatrist is up to. Little Deaths are little games that sometimes lead to the big one."

For a sexy, BDSM Christmas.

Jessicka Rabid

"They kept her in a cage! They raped her! They brutalized her! They made her into an animal! Now she escaped and she is biting off more than the hand that feeds her! Bonus Features include an Audio Commentary, Behind The Scenes and Trailers."

For grammar lessons.

Kill Katie Malone

"College students and best friends Ginger Matheson, Jim Duncan, and Kyle Dixie Canning, pool their cash to buy a ghost in an online auction. The three think it's all a prank, but once they open up the antique box to examine their treasure, they unleash the vengeful spirit of a servant girl who has been wreaking havoc on her owners throughout the generations."

For a lesson in why you shouldn't judge a book by its grotesque cover.

Psycho Sleepover

"A group of escaped mental patients crash a suburban sleepover, but realize they picked the wrong house when the girls refuse to go down without a fight. Debbie Dicky's last relationship didn't end well. After accidentally killing her boyfriend, she moved to a new town hoping to get a fresh start. Things start to look up with three local girls invite Debbie over for an epic pajama party, but the good times grind to a halt thanks to a murderous band of mental hospital escapees. Little do those psychos realize that Debbie has some previous experience with a butcher knife, and she's about to make them wish they'd never broken out of their cozy padded cells."

For the person who likes to copy you... twenty years later.

The Undying

"Seduced by the ghost of a Civil War soldier, whose spirit dwells in her new home, Dr. Barbara Haughton contrives to have him live again in the body of a man who died in her hospital. But, it's this man's violent past that may affect Barbara's desired future. Is this ghost now the gentle soul he appears to be? Or someone much darker?"

For your sickening, romantically inclined ghosts.

Klown Kamp Massacre

"Fifteen years ago, Edwin went to clown camp to fulfill his lifelong dream of bringing laughter to the world... but nobody laughed. Humiliated on graduation night, Edwin viciously murdered the entire camp before vanishing into legend. Now, despite the warnings of the town drunk, old man Bonzo has reopened the ranch and a new class of clowns have unwittingly signed up. When their die-hard instructor Sgt. Funnybone (Miguel Martinez, The Donor Conspiracy) is found dead in a puddle of cream pie and blood, the curriculum changes from comedy to survival! Edwin slashes, stabs, strangles, and disembowels the clowns while laughing insanely at his own bad jokes."

For Kevin's, Katrina's, or the Count from Sesame Street - brought to you by the letter 'K'.

Happy gift-buying!

Holiday Horror Gifts #2: Dead Island

2011-12-08T13:28:00.001-05:00

By now, you're probably a little bit sick of couch-co-op in the two Left 4 Dead games. I know I am - I'm sick of being swarmed by zombies as my teammates curl themselves into little balls and wait for the dead to eat them. So if you know someone who's like me, they're going to want Dead Island for Christmas.

That is, if they don't already have it of course. Dead Island has been out for a little while, but it's possible your friends/relatives have been too cheap to run out and get it. Take me, for instance. Games are expensive, and they tend to become your little babies after a while, where you cherish them enough to put them back in the case after you're done playing with them and even give them a nice polish once in a while. Especially if you spend $60 of your hard-earned money on it.

The game has had some criticisms, but the heavy focus on melee combat means that players can mix and match what type of combat weapon they would like. It's not about the firepower; it's about the bludgeoning. And getting up close to a zombie should prove to be quite a suspenseful maneuver.

Plus, the game is perfect for teaming up with friends, significant others, or even online with others for some zombie slaughter. If you're looking for a game with lots of replay value, Dead Island has it in spades. Who gets tired of beating on the undead with a lead pipe?

Comic Review - The Vault #2

2011-12-07T18:43:00.001-05:00

It's dangerous business opening up a sealed tomb. Of course there are all sorts of warnings about doing so; take King Tut's tomb as an example. But the characters of The Vault don't heed any such advice, and instead they do the one thing that turns a bad situation worse - for the benefit of the reader.

When we left off with the comic's group of underwater explorers, they had finally unearthed a very valuable artifact from the sea. An x-ray of the sarcophagus revealed a strangely contorted skeleton, most likely not human because of its extra bones. The surreality of the situation was perhaps one of the only horrific things to occur in the first issue of The Vault; now, however, author Sam Sarkar darkens the plot a bit with a truly terrifying discovery that the entity within the tomb is somehow alive.

Much of issue two is devoted to procedural duties, such as taking the cover off of the tomb, extracting the skeleton from the abyss, and analyzing the object for any human qualities. It would seem as though the issue would be exceedingly boring; however, the great artwork from Garrie Gastonny and Sakti Yuwono ensures that the reader has something to admire in each panel. And the mystery of the tomb is enough to keep the reader on edge throughout the more slow-paced sections, since the skeleton that Gastonny and Yuwono create is very unsettling.

Suddenly, during the middle section of this issue, things pick up fast within The Vault. The skeleton grabs onto one of our researchers' hands, and it quickly changes from a lifeless heap of bone to a very enraged monster, stabbing the man through the heart and quickly incapacitating a weaponized robot. It takes a well-placed armor piercing round from a sniper shot to bring the thing down, and the last haunting panel of the issue seems to indicate that the monster was made up of four dark animals. What does it mean? I'm not sure, but it's certainly an image that will leave the reader hoping for their next issue.

There is a lack of character development here, however, and many of the characters feel stiff and interchangeable. There is some work done to expand upon group relationships and misgivings, but for the most part each character in The Vault feels too underdeveloped. However, for a three-issue comic series, Sarkar is doing his best to advance the plot quickly and create memorable characters, and it's working enough where the lack of character depth isn't necessarily damaging.

Slash to the Point: Nail-biting and chilling, this second issue of The Vault livens the pace a lot from its first issue. Whereas the series was somewhat atmospheric but with little actual scares, Sam Sarkar has shifted the mood to a mix of unsettling dread. And it's always a promising feeling when you're not sure exactly what's going to happen next within the comic; it's exactly that type of uncertainty that makes The Vault feel endlessly deep.

Television Review - American Horror Story: "Spooky Little Girl"

2011-12-06T17:24:00.001-05:00

Just as American Horror Story finally invited me into its crazy little home, it boots me out again with its latest episode. Things were going rather un-swimmingly for the family, and with the characterization of Tate, the blessed removal of Vivien from the house after her psychotic break, and the reinvigorated idea that ghosts actually want something besides causing terror to a relatively normal family, I was ready to forgive all of the insane and almost unfathomably useless antics that the show has been subjecting the viewer to for nine weeks now. Except that all changes again with "Spooky Little Girl".

I'm alright with Vivien being pregnant. It's pretty cool she has twins. But now we find out that the two babies inside of her are from two separate fathers, and that leaves Tate-Rubber-Man as the other daddy. Perhaps I'd even be alright with this unrealistic happenstance if the show would stop shoving down our throats the melodramatic idea that Tate and Vivien's baby might be the devil incarnate! Why must we jump to such extreme conclusions? Because this is American Horror Story, and it's nothing if not fundamentally on edge at all times.

Hayden returns to cause some more havoc in the house, and Ben, who is the realist here in the world of American Horror Story, accepts her presence as some sort of normalcy even though she's buried beneath his new pavilion! To make things worse, his complete disregard of a woman dressed in '40s attire simply walking into his house is about all I can take before I start shouting at the television screen for the house to put him out of his dense misery. After all, there's only so much ineptitude one can take before characters begin to lose all semblance of humanity.

If I sound pretty pissed off, it's because I was expecting more of a major turn-around from American Horror Story. Is this the same show that identified Tate as both a killer of his classmates and a deeply disturbed young man trying to move forward into his afterlife? I guess it is, but this episode forgoes all the strengths of the previous episode for a zany, jumbled hour.

Plus, apparently the house is linked to the Black Dahlia murder. Why! I can't even comprehend.

Even the last part of this episode felt like it was making fun of itself. As Hayden murders Constance's young boy-toy in the house, he looks down upon his own body, and then the spirits of the multitudinous other ghosts join them in a family reunion picture. It might not seem like a very mocking scene, but it actually draws attention to how ridiculously futile all of this season has been - ghosts join the house and never leave, and even if the Harmons do die in Chock-Full-of-Ghosts Manor, they'll still just come back to fuck with the next owners. Where does this leave us moving forward? Perhaps Armageddon?

Slash to the Point: There's nothing like a good ghost story that includes the Black Dahlia, regular ghosties that haunt the house, a dysfunctional family, two corrupt doctors, three women who crave babies, twins from different fathers, an aforementioned twin who is the devil, a crazy Connie Britton, and lesbians kissing for the sole purpose of making Dylan McDermott cry while nutting away his pain. Why not? I might be bitter in this review, and American Horror Story has come a long way towards clearing up the confusion the show first created; however, "Spooky Little Girl" is another misstep that finds the show wallowing in its own contrivances.

The Noose: It's Only a T-Shirt to deck out horror fans

2011-12-06T11:59:00.001-05:00

We all know there's an abundance of good horror clothing companies out there, but there's also a need for a little variety. It's Only a T-Shirt is looking to jump into the mix with their rare and obscure printed shirts; right now, they're simply an Australian upstart company looking to break into the field, but they've got one T-shirt our so far that might help them make a dent in the competition.

Patrick is the first film IOT-S has tackled, and if you haven't heard of it, the company has done their homework. The film's about the titular character, who uses telekinesis to kill people while he remains lost in a coma. The tee features Patrick's face, along with a collage of characters from the film. The package is limited to 200, and each order comes packaged in its own VHS box! It's a vintage way to enjoy this classic 1978 film, and the marketing for it is ingenious. Jump on this sale fast, and keep an eye out for this new company over at It's Only a T-Shirt.

Holiday Horror Gifts #1: EC Comic Collections

2011-12-05T09:20:00.001-05:00

I made my way down to New York City the other day (I live in upstate New York, and despite most people's beliefs, I don't get down to the City very often) and ventured into Midtown Comics for a little geekdom. Most people would probably look for their favorite superhero comics, but I went right for the horror. And what did I find but a multitude of archival collections from old EC Comics!

Now if you were to purchase these at list price, one volume would run you about $50. That means ten issues for the price of a new video game. It's pretty expensive, but the collections are hard-bound with full-color glossy pages, and if that certain someone is a big fan of retro horror comics, these might be your best bet at finding the perfect Christmas gift.

Eerie, Creepy, Tales from the Crypt, and The Vault of Horror were all collection series you could grab for the right price. Personally, I'd take Tales from the Crypt over Eerie any day, but why choose? Get them all!

Horror Horizon - December 6

2011-12-02T15:44:00.001-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Cowboys & Aliens

"Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford star in this action-packed sci-fi western from the director of Iron Man (Jon Favreau) that critics call "wickedly original, unlike anything you've ever seen" (Jake Hamilton, Fox-TV Houston, TX). A stranger (Craig) stumbles into the desert town of Absolution with no memory of his past and a futuristic shackle around his wrist. With the help of mysterious beauty Ella (Olivia Wilde) and the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde (Ford), he finds himself leading an unlikely posse of cowboys, outlaws, and Apache warriors against a common enemy from beyond this world in an epic showdown for survival."

Don't Open Till Christmas

"Somebody with very little Christmas spirit is killing anyone in a Santa suit one London holiday season, and Scotland Yard has to stop him before he makes his exploits an annual tradition."

Porkchop

"Get ready for some serious partying, mayhem and gore '80s style in this deranged satire and celebration of classic slasher cinema! A group of young campers head into the wilderness for a weekend of sex, booze and silliness at an abandoned summer camp - only to be picked off one by one by a blood-thirsty, chainsaw-wielding psychopath wearing a pig's head mask. Who will survive? The cheerleader? The slut? The nerd and his anatomically correct talking robot? Loaded with boobs, blood and '80s synth-pop, PORKCHOP reminds us it's still not safe to go back in the woods."

Zombie Allegiance

"Cannibals, Zombies, Necrophilia - Welcome to the U.S.A. In post-World War III America, where the walking dead outnumber the living, a determined band of mismatched survivors scour hostile terrain in their quest for shelter and community. Chock full of gore and dripping with suspense, ZOMBIE ALLEGIANCE presents ""a sometimes scarily accurate metaphor regarding the current state of affairs here in the good ole U.S.A."

The Regenerated Man

"An Experiment involving human tissue regeneration goes horribly wrong when Dr. Clark is forced to drink his own potion by two deranged thugs. But instead of killing him, it transforms him into THE REGENERATED MAN. And they better not shoot him - that'll only make him mad!"

Alien Armageddon

"For years, UFO sightings have been documented around the world. What were once mere sightings have now become brutal attacks of epic proportions. As the human race faces total annihilation with every major city destroyed, only Los Angeles remains. Left with the task of saving humanity from extinction, a group of cowboys is the world s last stand in this Alien Armageddon."

The Mutilation Man

"An unknown man makes his way into a quiet neighborhood bringing nothing but torture and pain alongside him. The police are on the hunt for someone with no identity, the only evidence of his existence is the mess he leaves behind. When he enters the home of Roy and Jessica, they have no idea what's in store for them. As the story unravels you find that there may be more motive behind the man s actions than either of them could ever imagine."

Santa Claus Vs. the Zombies

"Santa Claus Versus the Zombies"" tells the story of a suburban family that finds themselves barricaded in their house following the outbreak of the Zombie plague. Along for the ride are a couple of elves and an actor that just might be the real Santa Claus. In the meantime, the President and his military advisers are holed up in a bunker feverishly trying to hatch a plan to rescue Santa and the desperate family."

Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist

"Described as ""the most artistic sexploitation movie in cinema history"" (sleazeANDhorror.com), JCSR has been re-mastered and re-edited to enhance the dreamy atmosphere. ""Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist"" is the story of a schizophrenic who suffers the delusion that he is Jesus reborn, and he sees ""reincarnations"" of the apostles who let him die. He vows revenge against them, in the most perverse and sadistic attacks on their women. The director broke all rules in this experimental and stylized rendering of horrific crimes. There is no blasphemy, but there is the tearing asunder of tradition."

Pop Punk Zombies

"A high powered music agent brings three recently deceased rockers back from the grave to form the first zombie punk band. Eddy, the leading character, is dragged to the concert by his buddy Ciez, but only stays to see his ex-girlfriend, Lisa. The show is cut short when the zombies break free and the gruesome flesh-eating ensues. Soon Eddy must save his friends from certain doom and becoming...Pop Punk Zombies."

Dark Night of the Soul

"Shawn, a skeleton freak philosopher and his drug induced zombie henchmen rule the bowels of the sphinx guarded ""Unknown Cemetery"". As an outcast cult leader Shawn is always on the lookout for students to educate into the arts of mental expansion. Four naive college kids find their way into the domain of the graveyard weirdos and their playground of occult teaching methods including forced opium smoking, sexual deviancy, hypnotic anti-religious dialog and Tarot. Dark Night of the Soul delivers in originality with heavy occult overtones, eerie atmosphere, drug usage and nudity."

Eat the Rich: The Cannibal Murders

"FBI Agent Beck has sent in his best man Agent Brach into the underground sewers of the Nevada desert to bust a family of cannibals. What he soon discovers in a world of flesh and bones, that there is more to their investigation than MEATS the EYE. In the tradition of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Writer/Director Ron Atkins brings us a new vision of the macabre, combining dark humor with intense and horrific sequences served up to satisfy the hunger of true horror fans. Prepare to Eat The Rich because an empty stomach is a poor stomach."

Have Yourself a Bloody Little Christmas: Movie Review - The Gingerdead Man

2011-12-01T16:49:00.001-05:00

There will be crumbs. And there will also be a lot of puns about gingerbread, cookies, and dough, so prepare yourselves. The Gingerdead Man really has nothing to do with Christmas at all besides the type of cookie that the movie's murderer embodies - and while that's disappointing for me, seeing as I have a column to do about christmas horror movies and the like, it doesn't really make a lot of difference to the film seeing as The Gingerdead Man has more sweetness than spice.

The film moves like molasses, a very slow plod through a torturous plot about a killer come to life inside a gingerbread man that has been fueled by human blood. The killer is Gary Busey, although the film didn't really need to use a gingerbread man for his likeness - one look at his crazy face is enough to kill most people. Anyway, the gingerdead man comes alive in a rundown bakery to terrorize three young kids working in the kitchen, and - okay, let's just end the plot synopsis here, as that is literally all that is happening in the film.

Despite the slow pace of the film, there's no actual backstory to Busey's killer character - there's an opening scene of him murdering our heroine's family, but there's not really any rhyme or reason to it. It's also quite clear that there's no reason why the gingerbread man should be inhabited by Busey either besides a little spilled blood in the batter. The film tries to copy from Child's Play, giving Busey a revenge story to play with after one of his victims escapes. But what kind of revenge does he need? Who is this crazy motherfather? I don't know, and neither will you after the film.

All you'll really know is that gingerbread men can be quite vicious for their size. Of course, they also bake into hideously cute personages, and spout lame one-liners at you until you either fall over laughing or give up from embarrassment for the little bugger. There's a sense that The Gingerdead Man is definitely not taking itself seriously; with that said, it's also not fun, the key to a movie that never really makes sense in the first place. In fact, much of the plot consists of a couple of bad actors exchanging equally bad dialogue that not-so-cleverly disguises their lust for each other. I'd rather gag on a sharp cookie.

Clearly, then, there must be some enjoyment from either the stark nakedness of a beautiful woman or the fresh bloodspill of a nubile teen. Not really, though, because before these vignettes of rather tame killings can occur, one must swim through the doughy offal of boring conversation and action that The Gingerdead Man seems so keen on packing into its 70 minute runtime.

Slash to the Point: I haven't been very nice to The Gingerdead Man, but that's because there isn't really anything about it that I can think of that would appeal to even the casual viewer. It's like having a cookie, but having no milk to dunk it in; though, in this case I would have liked to have drowned the gingerdead man.

The Gingerdead Man on Rotten Tomatoes

Television Review - American Horror Story: "Open House"/"Rubber Man"

2011-11-30T10:22:00.001-05:00

American Horror Story is really trying to clean up its messes, which is a huge bonus for me. I can watch the show for the simple reason that it's a crazy-ass way to spend 45 minutes, and before it was sort of a like a train derailing in slow-motion. Now, American Horror Story is getting a bit of substance, it's starting to make a little bit of sense, and even some of the characters are becoming a bit more well-rounded thanks to some flashbacks, romantic twists, and even - gasp! - a little personal drama peppered in with the ghost hauntings.

"Open House" has to deal with the fact that the Harmons still live in their house, even after all of the insane things that they can't explain. It's already a tough position to fill, but the episode makes good use of the malevolent nature of these spirits and actually uses their powers for more than just spook scares and harassment.

We're also given a lot more information on just why Burnface Man wants the house so bad. Turns out he was one of Constance's lovers, and he was going to leave his wife and kids and move into the house with Constance. Now perhaps this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, seeing as Burnface Man's wife doesn't want to fight for the house and instead sets herself and the kids on fire; but who cares? At least there's a stronger motive for Burnface Man, even if it does mean that he has some sort of unrequited love for Constance that he should know won't be rekindled (get it? he's burned).

Guess what? Vivien's got twins. Yes, that's right, she has two little demon babies inside of her now. Did I also mention there's a deformed child in the attic of the Harmon house? Well there is, and where before I would have jumped all over this episode for introducing yet another ridiculous and ill-placed scenario, I've found myself shying away from criticizing the irrationality of the thing. I'm not saying that we should totally absolve the writers of the awful ways in which American Horror Story presents its story arcs; nor should we overlook the fact that, for the most part, it's felt like the show has been flying by the seat of its pants.

But "Rubber Man" makes me hopeful that at least somebody on the set of American Horror Story has an idea where all of this is headed. The episode ties together a ton of loose plot lines, including why the gay homeowners are included in the plot at all (although that's still a tenuous connection), where the rubber suit came from, and who the Rubber Man is! The reveal is a little rushed (like, let's say, the first two minutes of the episode), but it was necessary for the plot to progress, and I'm glad to see the shift in morals with Tate. He's a kid trying to figure out his hatred, even after he's dead, and it's good to see a conflict pulling at him from all sides.

Hayden is also more useful as a ghost here, although she does seem to make up some rule about the ghosts being able to remain invisible that we've never really seen before. She uses this device to make Vivien go crazy and shoot Ben - she wants her babies, mind you, for herself and Nora. It's not clear how they will get the babies after Vivien leaves the house, but it's not important right now. Someone has finally left the house - perhaps for good! It'll be interesting to see how that plays out in the next episodes, and dare I say it'll be good for the Harmons' disgustingly redundant divorce fights all the time.

Slash to the Point: I'm starting to put aside my qualms for the things that don't make sense in American Horror Story. It's not solid writing, it doesn't seem to follow any sense of narrative device, and at times it's totally unrealistically hokey. But after becoming so fatigued with its avoidance of anything tolerably believable, I'm coming to accept where American Horror Story is headed. It's even, somewhat, fun.

The Gingerdead Man is coming up!

2011-11-29T19:27:00.001-05:00

You can expect a heaping helping of gingerbread madness coming your way soon - I'll be reviewing these bad boys shortly, plus a few others in the Christmas horror series. It's been busy around here, but I promise I'll be back with holiday-themed reviews!

The Evil Ad #43

2011-11-27T14:25:00.001-05:00

I wasn't familiar with this before, but apparently Sea World does a Halloween event at their theme park. Titled Howl-O-Scream, the event is featured at both Busch Gardens and Sea World attraction parks, and it's sort of like the things one might see at Six Flags' Frightfest. While I'm guessing it's not equal to the scares and spooks of Halloween Horror Nights, I'd still like to venture out to see all of the dolphins dressed in their best costume attire.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T09:31:00.001-05:00

I think, for today's special occasion, I'll use a scene from my favorite horror-themed Thanksgiving movie, Thankskilling:

My sentiments exactly. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Television Review - Dollhouse: "Stage Fright"/"Gray Hour"

2011-11-23T08:48:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since I last saw Dollhouse (read: almost two years since the first two episodes), and now the show has moved up to television heaven. After only two seasons, Dollhouse was cut from FOX, and this is partially because of the lack of viewership which seems to plague many of Joss Whedon's series. But I'm taking a trip back to the world of Handlers and Actives via Netflix; the company is currently streaming these episodes online.

In the series' third episode "Stage Fright", the main Active in the mysterious and highly elusive Dollhouse is sent out into the field to help protect the popular pop star Rayna from a deadly fan attack. Echo (played by Eliza Dushku) is one of the more developed Actives, since she seems to evolve even after her memory is wiped following each job she performs. In "Stage Fright", her persona finishes the job in an awkward fashion, breaking the programming she is hardwired to perform for a more strategic, outside-the-box conclusion.

The change in Echo is the best part of "Stage Fright", as it's a piece of characterization for Echo that we never normally get for her. Since Echo is, in essence, a blank slate after every mission, it's difficult for Dollhouse to generate a sense of depth to her. It's a problem, in a way, because if the audience is meant to root for her in the face of danger, there's little development to hold onto since Echo is always a different person. This episode might not be especially engaging as Echo worms her way into Rayna's life to minimize the threat, but it does manage to garner some emotions from the viewer after Echo changes.

The main dilemma I've been having with the show is that Dollhouse's episodes always feel like one-shots, using the same plot devices for each episode. We send Echo out into the field to perform a task, something goes wrong and the Handler is contacted, and the problem is resolved. Sure, there's a detective working in the background to find the Dollhouse, so that's somewhat an arc to the plot, but for the most part the show has lacked a destination.

That changes with "Gray Hour", an episode that finds Echo breaking into a hotel vault to steal back a stolen piece of the Parthenon. After a rogue remote wipe through a cell phone erases Echo's memory, she cowers and whimpers in a corner, and asks the same questions she would if she was simply erased at Dollhouse. Again, there's that same plot device of the Handlers having to rush in to save Echo; I have a feeling that won't change much for each episode. But "Gray Hour" finds Echo relying much more on other Actives, like Sierra (Dichen Lachman). There's an interplay here between Actives which is good to see, and since the Actives are grouping after their minds are wiped clean, it's almost existential in its ideas of evolution and instinct.

There's also a much stronger story arc developing, because a rogue Doll named Alpha takes the blame for the remote wipe of Echo. Hopefully, Alpha will make an appearance soon, or he'll continue to make advances that threaten the structure of Dollhouse. And the detective will continue to explore the links between Dollhouse and Victor, which should make for an interesting development as long as something actually happens with it.

Slash to the Point: Joss Whedon's series moves forward in these two episodes, which are more of the same for the series (new mission: new problem), but they do push the plot forward in ways that make me quite excited. "Stage Fright" tends to drag, but "Gray Hour" is pretty exciting, and the episode is a good indication of what the show can do when it groups the Actives together.

The Evil Ad #42

2011-11-21T10:23:00.001-05:00

Continuing our recap of the Halloween ads of 2011, here we have advertisements for phone company Vodacom. These play off of the undead of the night, using their nocturnal habits as a driving point for the implementation of Vodacom's new free call package.

Wish I had seen these before Halloween!

Book Review - Northwest Angle by William Kent Krueger

2011-11-19T22:27:00.001-05:00

William Kent Krueger returns to his series of adventures starring Ojibwe Indian Cork O'Conner in Northwest Angle, a mystery novel set on Lake of the Woods by the US/Canadian border. Kreuger's novel melds the familiarity of Cork from past novels with the new setting, which enhances the bond between the characters and nature; the story is also based on a real occurrence that happened in Minnesota, a derecho (definition: huge beast of a storm) that blew up and caused quite a stir in the area. What ensues in Northwest Angle is a tale about religious fanatics, the almighty hand that guides us, and the bravery of a woman who takes a motherless child under her protection.

Krueger certainly has a feel for Cork's character, so it's good to see him spending some extra time with Cork's family. On this trip, he brings his daughters and son along; also on the voyage are Rose and Mal, Cork's wife's sister and her lover, respectively. Each gets some time with the narrative, and Krueger does a nice job of switching between perspectives often and including the subtleties of each character. It's something that invokes a sense of verisimilitude - that Cork is not the only character to dominate each of Krueger's stories.

The plot is also fairly twisting, with a series of reveals that keep the reader guessing. At first, Northwest Angle feels like a survival piece as Cork and his daughter Jenny are stranded on an island after the storm. But after they stumble upon a murder scene, Krueger begins to pile on bits and pieces of mystery, each one more sinister than the last. And Northwest Angle is something of a slow burn, so that means there's a lot of thematic bulk incorporated within the complex plot. The novel is able to juggle these things well, for the most part, although after the murderer(s) has(ve) finally been detected, Krueger tends to drop the subplot about Jenny's care for the orphaned child.

There's a lot of beautiful imagery here, a testament to both Krueger's knowledge of the territory he's writing about and the amorous feelings he has for nature. It's something that ties in well with Cork's Ojibwe background, which also gets fleshed out for a while with the recurring character of Henry Meloux. These moments are where Northwest Angle ceases to be another simple murder mystery and instead becomes something deeper and more original.

Slash to the Point: Northwest Angle is a gripping novel for those who crave a little more from their pulp mysteries. It's another good installment of the Cork O'Conner series, and William Kent Krueger allows us to explore Cork's family life as well as his detective one. Combine that with the scenic paragraphs that fill the pages and you have a book that's great to sit back with on a quiet, frosty evening.

Horror Horizon - November 22

2011-11-18T18:10:00.001-05:00

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Super 8

"JJ Abrams and Steven Spielberg join forces in this extraordinary tale of youth, mystery, and adventure. Super 8 tells the story of six friends who witness a train wreck while making a Super 8 movie, only to learn that something unimaginable escaped during the crash. They soon discover that the only thing more mysterious than what it is, is what it wants. Experience the film that critics rave is, 'filled with unstoppable imagination and visual effects to spare. It will put a spell on you.'"

Helldriver

"From the creators of Machine Girl , and Tokyo Gore Police, An alien-spawned, mysterious mist blankets the northern half of Japan, transforming those who inhale it into ravenous, flesh-eating zombies hellbent on devouring the surviving human populatin. Plunged into chaos, Japan is torn into 2 areas. The southern half of the country, where the population remains untouched by the deadly gas, lives behind a heavily-fortified wall, while the northern half is a lawless, zombie-infected wasteland."

Antfarm Dickhole

"Hailed by indiemoviemaker.net as having "the most WTF moments in movie history" Antfarm Dickhole is the story of rampaging army ants that have nested inside a living human body. The unwilling host discovers that when bullies attack him, the ants defend their nest. Thus begins a tragic tale of what happens when the powerless become powerful."

Naked Massacre

"A Terrifying Shocker based on the Richard Speck murders. For these nine young nurses, opening the door that night meant ending their lives!"

Haunted Changi

"In January of 2010, a group of local filmmakers began exploring the famously haunted Old Changi Hospital in Singapore with terrifying and tragic results. This movie pieces together the original Haunted Changi film crew's footage to tell the full story."

Captive Audience

"An unfortunate woman is kidnapped and subjected to deranged abuses. When she resists, her captor warns her that if she does not comply with his wishes, he will seek a new victim, but that other woman will be killed after his wishes are fulfilled. He videotapes his attacks and forces the captive to watch, telling her that she could have prevented the ordeal. Each time she says ""no"" she is really saying, ""Defile another woman."" Watch with extreme caution."

Saki the Killer

"Saki (Sachiko Kokubu) is not your average art teacher - she handles prison inmates, as well as art students. When Saki's grandfather (Hidetoshi Imura) visits Saki, he also brings trouble, in the form of an evil Yakuza. Saki uses her artistic demons to fight the gangsters and killers who infiltrate her life, threatening everything in sight. Saki slashes her way to a spectacular showdown of guns, knives and anything she can get her hands on. Saki is out to create her bloodiest masterpiece yet, in this thriller of betrayal, revenge, and killer art. Her paint brush is her blade. Her paint is her enemy's blood."

Where the Dogs Divide Her

"Where the Dogs Divide Her begins amid the aftermath of a family massacre. A nameless man sits in an unfamiliar bathroom, his bloodied hands trembling as he ponders his crime of passion. An amnesiac without an identity, he goes in search of himself, only to unearth a long-buried family secret surrounding the bizarre deaths of his parents. An abstract ghost story populated by ever-threatening specters, shadowy souls with evil motives who inhabit a nightmare world within a troubled killer's psyche. They might offer a smile or a kind word, but their only purpose is to snare others into their Hell."

Raymond Did It

"When twelve-year-old Bryce Rourke is accidentally killed in a playground scuffle, his friends decide to blame Bryce's developmentally delayed older brother for the accident. Raymond is taken to a state hospital while the true killer walks free. Six years later, Raymond escapes from the hospital to seek bloody revenge for his brother's death. Starring Lindsay Felton (VH1 Scream Queens, Caitlin's Way), Jessica Palette (Vh1 Scream Queens, Under the Raven's Wing), Elissa Dowling (Dahmer vs. Gacy, Dread), and introducing Kyle Hoskins as Raymond"

Great White Death

"The most shocking, goriest shark attacks ever caught on film are right here - sometimes only the camera survives!"

Television Review - American Horror Story: "Piggy Piggy"

2011-11-16T13:03:00.001-05:00

Starting during the second part of the Halloween two-parter, American Horror Story has been making a shift, or at least trying to. It has found out that the craziness of random ghost encounters and multiple past events don't really make for good television, simply because the amount of plot that has been covered in every episode is so momentous that it's hard to wrap the mind around. In "Piggy Piggy," American Horror Story settles into the characterization of Tate, moreso than most episodes combined.

It's interesting that the character American Horror Story spends so much time with is not part of the Harmon family, although it makes sense considering the bland nature of the two adults. Tate is a compelling character because he has so many emotional problems; the fact that he makes an effort to change himself throughout the show is the main reason why he feels more realistic than the rest of the characters in the show.

In "Piggy Piggy," we're treated to the backstory of Tate's violent school shooting, a storyline that was hinted at in the previous episode. This has been some of the best story American Horror Story has done so far, and again there's a good emotional struggle here between Tate's demented past and the change he's trying to go through for Violet.

The main problem with "Piggy Piggy" is the introduction of Ben's new patient, who's played by the wonderful Eric Stonestreet. It feels like a shoddy way to advance the plot to even new extremes, force the viewer to feel like the plot is moving forward while still retaining the weirdness the show has touted since it first began. It amounts to little, if anything, and unfortunately Stonestreet won't be reprising his role (unless he comes back as a disturbed ghost, which could be possible). The whole idea behind the pig man is forced and lazily plotted, and it lessens the impact of the school shooting, which could have encompassed an entire episode.

Slash to the Point: There's a movement towards working with the characters in a bit more detail in "Piggy Piggy", but the episode does resort to its old tricks when it continues to introduce new, strange twists. While this is one of the best episodes in American Horror Story's run, I'll be interested to see if the show continues to strengthen its characters without being forced to introduce new ghosts to an already overstuffed show.

Comic Review - Samurai's Blood #4

2011-11-15T17:26:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since we've checked in with the samurai clan, but when we last left off, Kimura was stuck in a brothel working for a corrupt prostitution leader and Katashi was training as a samurai under the skilled Horitomo. In the fourth issue of Samurai's Blood, this subplot is resolved just in time for the trio of swordspeople to fight the corrupt Gakushi.

The comic has always featured a strong narrative presence thanks to the musings of an omniscient samurai elder, and this issue retains that idea. The main theme of this issue is love and betrayal, two sentiments that remain intertwined throughout the issue thanks to Jun's sly workings and Katashi's obsession with getting Kimura back.

The issue is paced a little slowly, and it dwells upon the same ideas that the previous two issues have been dealing with. So we've been getting the whole "Kimura's gone and Katashi's upset" thing for some time now, and there's not much in this issue that furthers these ideas. That is, until the fight sequence between Katashi and the humongous Tokugawa Daigan, which finds Katashi lusting after the blood of great fighters and figuratively bathed in vengeful hatred.

The meat of the plot hits when Katashi turns on his own friend - there's that betrayal again - but it's only a quick scenario before the reveal of an important character thought to be dead. I would have liked to see Samurai's Blood linger a little longer on the vileness of Katashi's character; seeing him turn into a lost soul similar to those that are leading the new clan of samurai would have made for a good dramatic shift before the inevitable choice between pursuing the evil Gakushi.

Slash to the Point: We're getting to the final slice of the blade, but first we must wade through the slosh of emotions that the fourth issue throws our way. It's not a bad issue, but it basically reiterates ideas we've been getting for a while now in Samurai's Blood - there must be a balance between a samurai's lifestyle, and there's always a fine line between honor and shame. But this issue doesn't quite hit the same level of thematic allegory as the previous issues.

Horror Horizon - November 15

2011-11-14T19:42:00.001-05:00

Notable DVD releases for today. Selections subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Evil Dead 2 [Anniversary Edition]

"Ash (Bruce Campbell), the sole survivor of THE EVIL DEAD, returns to the same cabin in the woods and again unleashes the forces of the dead. With his girlfriend possessed by the demons and his body parts running amok, Ash is forced to single- handedly battle the legions of the damned as the most lethal – and groovy – hero in horror movie history! Welcome to EVIL DEAD II, director Sam Raimi’s infamous sequel to THE EVIL DEAD and outrageous prequel to ARMY OF DARKNESS!"

Being Human: The Complete First Season

"Being Human... nobody ever said it was easy. But for three twenty-something roommates - vampire Aidan (Sam Witwer), ghost Sally (Meaghan Rath) and a werewolf Josh (Sam Huntington) - is it even possible? While these outsiders come to realize that there are fates even worse than death, they also discover that there's more to life (and the afterlife) than most "normal" humans could ever imagine."

Humongous (Katarina's Nightmare Theater)

"A group of teens on a boat find themselves in a fogbound night only to run aground on the rocks of the mysterious 'Dog Island' right before their boat goes up in flames. As they gather on the shoreline, one of them goes missing, another is critically injured and four go searching for shelter. They then decide to venture into the still standing house to summon help from its occupants...if any. Luckily, there is someone still dwelling there, but unfortunately there's something else out on the island growling in the dark and it ain't no dog! And it is HUNGRY!"

Bite Marks

"While backpacking across the country, bickering gay couple Cary and Vogel decide to speed up their trek by hitchhiking instead. That s when fate brings them Brewster, a sexually-confused trucker who picks the pair up on his way to delivering a shipment of coffins. After a few strokes of bad luck, the mismatched trio ends up lost and broken down in an abandoned junkyard. Though surviving a night of petty fights and sexual tension seems tough enough, the nightmare is only just getting started as strange noises in the back of the truck reveal the presence of five bloodthirsty vampires..."

Neverwhere

"Richard Mayhew leads an ordinary life in London when one day a girl named Door falls, injured, across his path. The next thing he knows, his life is gone and he's pulled into the fantastical world of London Below. Pursued by the murderous Messrs. Croup and Vandemar, Door and Richard with the help of Hunter and the Marquis de Carabas, attempt to find the Angel Islington, who knows the secret behind the murder of Door's family, and possibly a way for Richard to go home."

Fading of the Cries

"Sarah finds an ancient necklace that belonged to her uncle. The necklace unknowingly unlocks a malevolent evil that has been searching for the relic. The dark force invades her small town, sending hordes of demonic creatures to find Sarah and bring back the necklace. It’s up to Jacob, armed with a powerful sword, to bring Sarah home and save mankind from destruction."

The Open Door

"Innocent and trusting Angelica falls in with the wrong crowd at school and finds herself grounded during the biggest party of her senior year. The desperate teen turns to a mysterious pirate radio station that appears on full moon nights to grant the wishes of its callers. When her mischievous friends decide to play a prank on her, her wishes are unleashed in a twisted and violent fashion on the unsuspecting teens."

2011-11-14T09:08:00.001-05:00

Be back later today with a Horror Horizon. Been quite busy lately.

Television Review - The Walking Dead: "Cherokee Rose"

2011-11-10T16:03:00.001-05:00

There's a little girl missing in The Walking Dead, and there's a redneck also stranded out in the expanse of zombie wastes; but for right now, the show is ultimately focused on the recovery of Carl, the treachery of Shane, and the lack of a functioning camp. "Cherokee Rose" doesn't do much to solve any of these problems, but it does feature a lot more characterization for Shane, Daryl, and perhaps, just a little bit, Glenn.

Thankfully, "Cherokee Rose" is one of the better episodes this season because it slows things down enough to explore characters that aren't totally annoying. And Andrea is barely present in this episode, which means I didn't feel like flinging my TV every time she was pictured. Instead, the episode continues the search for Sophia - which has already stagnated - while spending some time inside Shane's head.

It's this time with Shane that is needed, simply because the last episode failed to prepare Shane's brutal but necessary execution of Otis. In "Cherokee Rose", we get the type of remorse and guilt that would have been nice last episode, but at least it's here in some subtly veiled dialogues to Andrea about taking lives. Still, I don't really believe his quick turn on his partner, and there's still some digging to be done in Shane's psyche. I feel like we haven't even scraped the surface.

Glenn also gets some screentime with newbie Maggie, although it consists mainly of Glenn being awkward and then the couple having some hasty sex in a pharmacy. It's all really cheesy, which can be blamed on the nature of their predicament (translation: sex first, love later) - but it's also so awkward that their relationship seems doomed before it begins.

We follow Daryl into the woods as he searches for Sophia, and he brings back the titular flower to Sophia's mother, with a story about Native American tears flowering Cherokee roses. It's not consistent with Daryl's character, but it works because Daryl has been an endearing character throughout The Walking Dead and even with his redneck sensibilities, I have a special interest in him thanks to the emotional change he's been making in these later episodes.

There's also a questionable sequence about trying to get a walker out of a well, which didn't work for me at all thanks to the boneheaded ideas the group comes up with. They want the walker out of the well so that he doesn't contaminate the water supply - but I wouldn't drink that water anyway, seeing as how the walker's flesh has become bloated, bloody, and perhaps even gelatinous thanks to the days of marination he's experienced. For them to even consider drinking putrefied zombie water makes me question whether it's the writers who messed up, or if we were supposed to think that everyone at camp was stupid.

Slash to the Point: "Cherokee Rose" is a better-focused episode, with more characterization than what we've been seeing lately. It still doesn't advance the story much, but at least there's more of a solid grasp of what's going on. And the dialogue is a lot better in this episode, with an emphasis on emotion and faith rather than angst.