Comic Review - Marksmen #2

It's easy to get caught up in post-apocalyptic hysteria. What would we do if the world was reduced to factions of men and women who, fighting for their own best interests, wanted to use technology for their own devices? Would we give up on our own beliefs and join them? Would it be better to start a war fighting for what we think is right? Could we trust our neighbors? Marksmen has been toying with that notion since its first issue; writer David Baxter has created two groups of survivors at war with the other over technology that could help further their development. The question that's posed but never directly stated is why these two groups must fight instead of getting along - and it's this irony that keeps them totally at odds.

Book Review - The 34th Degree by Thomas Greanias

The 34th Degree falls somewhere in between the niches of alternate histories and historical science fiction. Thomas Greanias has penned two such novels besides his trilogy of Atlantis tales. First was The Promised War which introduced Sam Deker as a time-traveling memory agent who found himself in Jerusalem circa 1400 AD. Deker returns in The 34th Degree, this time making a journey somewhat unwillingly into the brain tissues of participants in the '40s who lived through the devastating Nazi takeover of Greece. Like most good plots, it's all very complex and twisted, as Chris Andros replaces Deker as main protagonist after the reader is taken back in time. But Greanias explores an alternate history of British/American alliances to topple Hitler's regime, and The 34th Degree comes together as a well-researched piece that mixes action with espionage for one hell of a journey.

Halloween 2011: The Evil Item #5

Ooh boy, did the grocery store have some treats for me this weekend. Besides getting pelted by heavy rains and heavier winds, I found some of my favorite items of Halloween on sale at the local shopping center. Halloween Oreos have hit most stores, loaded with an orange cream center that pairs fantastically with the natural chocolate black of the cookie. The shapes are the same, the packaging is the same, but there's not much more you can ask for when Oreo dyes their original recipe of two cookie pieces and lard orange.

Along with Halloween Oreos comes Halloween Chips Ahoy, which has gotten sleek, simple new packaging. A black background with goofy pumpkins and random eerie adjectives rounds out this year's cookie lineup; Chips Ahoy adds orange chocolate chips to their regular chocolate chip cookie to color things more "fallish" and Halloween-y.

Movie Review - Buried

What do you get when you mix Ryan Reynolds with a box? No, not "Dick in a Box" - Buried, a full-length film from Rodrigo Cortés that takes place almost entirely inside a dark, buried coffin. At first, I must say that I thought Buried would use a bunch of tropes and flashbacks to tell the story of how Reynolds ends up in the box in the first place. Instead, though, the film stays centrally located, a claustrophobic tale that places the viewer directly inside for a tense 90 minute experience.

Horror Horizon - August 30

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections are subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

The Vampire Diaries: The Complete Second Season

"They’re back – and they’re not alone. The seductive characters of The Vampire Diaries return for a stunning 5-Disc 22-Episode Season Two. This time Elena, Stefan, Damon and the other residents of Mystic Falls are joined by sinister new blood. Released from the tomb, Katherine unleashes her personal brand of evil in a diabolical plot. The Originals – the world’s oldest and most dangerous vampires – hunt for Elena, who discovers she has a terrifying connection to their world. And now bloodsuckers aren’t the only monsters in town. On moonlit nights, werewolves roam in search of victims…including vampires, who succumb to a single werewolf bite. The Vampire Diaries: unending suspense, undying romance." 

The Incredible Shrinking Man

"Featuring groundbreaking special effects The Incredible Shrinking Man is considered one of the most innovative and thought-provoking films ever made. When Scott Carey (Grant Williams) encounters a mysterious radioactive mist on a boating trip he soon finds his life taking on a bizarre and frightening twist. His physical size begins to diminish as he shrinks to a mere two inches. Suddenly ordinary household situations loom over him with lethal intensity a playful cat becomes a demon and a spider is a gargantuan monster. Carey finds he must rely on his wits to survive in his new oversized world in this sci-fi classic that remains as terrifying today as it did over 50 years ago!" 

Bereavement

"In 1989, a 6-year-old boy is lured into the vehicle of a stranger. The stranger is a serial killer with a tendency of butchering teenage girls. In the basement of a rural Pennsylvania slaughterhouse, he will teach the boy everything he knows. Five years later, teen Allison (Alexandra Daddario of Hall Pass) comes to live with her uncle (Michael Biehn of The Terminator) following her parents' death. In time, she will discover the boy and his madman mentor. And they will all be plunged into an unimaginable evil from which there may be no escape. Nolan Gerard Funk (Deadgirl), Brett Rickaby (The Crazies), Valentina de Angelis (''Gossip Girl'') and John Savage (The Deer Hunter) co-star in this graphic and acclaimed shocker from writer/director Stevan Mena about family, torment, and the nightmare absolution that is BEREAVEMENT." 

Dora's Halloween Parade

"Happy Halloween! Celebrate with Dora, Boots, and Little Monster in two nighttime Halloween adventures, and then join Dora for a backpack and musical parade too! Your preschooler can join the fun in this brand new DVD!" 

Children of the Corn: Genesis

"TIM and ALLIE seek shelter in a remote desert compound after becoming lost and stranded. A strange Manson-like character, PREACHER (Drago), reluctantly allows them inside with strict orders to be gone by morning and not wander "where you are not invited." 

Wrecked

"Oscar winner Adrien Brody (The Pianist, Predators) stars as a man who wakes up trapped in a crashed car in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by two dead passengers, a pile of cash and a gun. He has no recollection of who he is or how he got there. Is he an innocent victim? A dangerous criminal? All he knows is he s fighting for his life and his sanity in the middle of the deep woods. Like a cross between Deliverance and The Bourne Identity, director Michael Greenspan s feature debut showcases another acclaimed turn by one of the most lauded and talented actors of our time." 

Roadkill

"Kate and her brother Joel have gathered their five best friends for a scenic RV road trip to their high-school reunion. But their cross-country adventure is about to take an unexpected turn for the worse when an ancient curse takes wing by way of a massive creature. It's called the Simuroc, and this gigantic bird of prey has found the perfect, helpless quarry in Kate and company. Stranded in the backwoods of the predator s territory, there s little chance for escape." 

The Coffin

"Su and Chris are two strangers whose lives have been struck by tragedy Su has been diagnosed with lung cancer just days before her wedding and Chris longtime girlfriend has fallen into a mysterious coma. When they both learn of a bizarre Thai ritual in which a living person lies in a coffin to reverse bad Karma, they both decide to partake in a mass funeral for the living. Soon, their lives have turned around Su s cancer vanishes and Chris girlfriend awakes from her coma but the good fortune is short-lived. A series of terrifying paranormal events suggests that Su and Chris may have upset the Karmic balance of the universe by cleansing themselves of bad luck, and the people closest to them may ultimately pay the price."

Movie Review - The Caller

From now on, there will be a change in review format. Instead of a separate IMDB link, please click the movie image for the IMDB database entry.

At first, The Caller might bring to mind similar titled films like When a Stranger Calls, suspenseful thrillers that feature nubile coeds who receive threatening calls from a stalking killer. In truth, that expectation might cause some to simply leave The Caller with a dial tone instead of putting the effort into watching a retread of a tired storyline. But the pleasant surprise is that the movie is not just a rehash of a formula; instead, it's a tale about a quantum leap telephone that connects the present with the past. Think of it like a butterfly effect, only our protagonist has a limited role in how she changes history.

Comic Review - Blue Estate #1-5

Blue Estate is like an updated noir comic; instead of black-and-white, it picks its colors wisely to represent the emotion running through the panels, and I bet you can guess which color makes the most appearances. The noir styling is also evident from the writing of Viktor Kalvachev, Kosta Yanev, and Andrew Osbourne; the chilly monologues and pseudo-detective babble from semi-private dick Roy Devine Jr. are indicative of influential '50s thrillers.

So far, the comic is doing its best to juggle some really complex plot lines involving multiple characters. We have Rachel, an actress married to corrupt actor Bruce Maddox, who gets his funds from a Russian mobster; there's Devine Jr., who wants to be like his cop father but can't really cut it in the business until he's hired by Maddox; and there's Tony, son of another big mobster who has a racket in everything from drugs to prostitution. Other minor characters are scattered here and there, but those six individuals are really what Kalvachev uses to interweave the story.

Some minor changes

Please note that all blog posts will now be truncated on the home page for easy readability. You will need to click "Read more" for the rest of the blog post.

This is in effort to track exactly what blog posts people are reading, and it's also a means of making the blog look and feel less cluttered. With smaller posts, it allows posts one might not have seen to be featured on the home page longer. It means an extra click for you, but I think it's worth it.

The Noose: August 24

Don't Be Afraid of the CGI?

Let's start with the big stuff again. Last week, Fright Night 3D released in theaters. This week it's Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (decidedly un-3D). Guillermo del Toro has said that he feels the original 1970s TV movie is one of the scariest TV movies ever made. Based on my viewing of Invitation to Hell, it's not much of a stretch to believe, but Dark Night of the Scarecrow is pretty good...

But I'm getting off topic. I think that the trailers for DBAD look quite eerie, especially the one of little Bailee Madison crawling through her sheets. If you've seen the longer theatrical trailer, you get a bit more plot with it, and you get to hear the whispers of those denizens of the dark. And for just a moment, you might see a quick flash of the little demons that lurk in the night.

Son of Celluloid recommends The Moon is a Dead World! (or, he gave me the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award)

The great Son of Celluloid was bestowed with the honor of the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award, and he's decided to pass it on to little ol' me in return! Now, I'm not much for blogging for awards, because what I do is out of my own dedication for quality writing, reviewing, and a love of horror. But it's always nice to be recognized for the hard work and dedication one puts into their blogging baby, and I want to personally thank Son of Celluloid for this Internet compliment.

As per the ISBA instructions (sounds like a bad case of irritable bowel syndrome), I'm supposed to give seven random facts about myself. I'll do my best to give you stuff you've never heard before.

1. I like to think of myself as an avid connoisseur of beer. If there's a new flavor, a new brewer I've never tried, or a special seasonal ale, I'll be drinking it. My favorite and probably most far-out flavor I've tried has to be the habanero stout I got at Brew Works. Deliciously spicy, yet smooth.

2. Most of my job experience consists of mowing lawns and other yardwork. I've never had a "real" job, per se. I started a lawn care service in 2005 and I've been doing it every summer since. I've made a lot of money and employers with it, and it's certainly been helpful with the lack of jobs, but it also limits me now when I'm searching out a new career.

3. I actually don't like zombie movies that much. Despite my respect for films like Night of the Living Dead and the Italian zombie gore-fests, I find most zombie films to be quite derivative and boring. That's not to say that paranormal horror films aren't cliched; I just tend to enjoy those more than zombies.

4. I'm actually a really jaded reviewer. Reviewing sounds like a lot of fun; you get free stuff, and it's a job where you can watch and read things you enjoy and write about them. But reviewing is actually a lot of work, and it gets tiring after a while. That's why even reviewers need a break from things they love, because too much time spent slogging through horror movies will make even the most hearty horror buff cry out in shame and utter exhaustion. Reviewing also tends to make you jaded; things just don't hit you like they used to.

5. I love kettle-cooked potato chips. They're awesome - crispy, crunchy, with only a minimum of oil and salt. I could eat them all day long, and I'm not even a huge fan of chips.

6. I don't like talking about myself. I'm not a big fan of hyping my best qualities, and that's why it's very difficult for me to succeed at job interviews or look good on resumes. I'd rather not discuss my greatest accomplishment - instead, why don't you think about what it might be.

7. I hate small talk. Just like the last fact, I don't like socializing much at all. If I see someone in the store I know in passing but not very well, I'll go the other way. It's not me being pretentious (okay, maybe it is to some degree); it's me avoiding the awkward conversations, the dead silence after you run out of questions like "How's the job?" and "Nice weather, huh?" I'm not much of a smooth talker.

Now it's time to pass the award on to another blogger. I don't like singling out one person who I think is great; in fact, if I could give this to everyone who takes the time to blog and write, I would. But it's only fair, and it's part of the job of accepting this award. So the next winner of the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award is...

L-G-B-Terror!

L-G-B-Terror offers up a great selection of reviews and essays on horror with a decidedly gay viewpoint. Often very humorous, Evan has a different way of reviewing things, with a template that helps structure each review. L-G-B-Terror has also participated in Viewer Vomit twice, making it very awesome in my book. Congrats, Evan! You earned it.

Halloween 2011: The Evil Item #4

I know I've posted about this before (last year, to be exact), but I've recently seen these in stores and I thought it might be a good time to bring them up. Pillsbury has released their line of Halloween baked goods: the pre-cut Halloween cookies, featuring ghost, pumpkin, and cat shapes, and their Halloween Funfetti mix with orange and black sprinkles, are back!

I love these because they're so simple, yet so deliciously, devilishly festive. The cookies take almost no preparation to make, meaning you can have Halloween sugar cookies in just a half an hour if you're feeling in the mood. The Funfetti cake mix does most of the baking for you - all the inexperienced cook needs to do is mix up a few ingredients and pour the batter into a cake pan! If you're looking for quick and easy ways to make Halloween last longer than just a month, look no further than these Pillsbury goods.

Viewer Vomit #5: INVITATION TO HELL

Well, finally I've gotten my act together to post a review of Wes Craven's Invitation to Hell. For all you vomiters who had a review written and ready to contribute, I'll be compiling links to the film review for an entire week! So please submit, and I'll be happy to link to you.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my take on the film, and I encourage you to join in by sending me a link to your own review of Brides of Dracula.

Invitation to Hell

In 1984, television viewers got a special surprise for their weekday viewing. A young Wes Craven signed up to direct Invitation to Hell, a TV horror movie that would premiere just months before A Nightmare on Elm Street scared sleepers in theaters. You can think of Invitation to Hell as a sort of Stepford Wives/Body Snatchers hybrid; its premise uses a small town to create an eerie sense of distance between our protagonist's family and their neighbors.

Besides Craven, you might see a few familiar names on the cast list. Soleil Moon Frye (better known as Punky Brewster) plays Chrissy, a good-natured and then devilish little girl. Robert Urich, known for his guest appearances and TV-movie roles, stars as Matt, a man who knows something is up with the small town he moves to but he can't quite place his finger on it.

And so for a film combining so many B-list celebrities, Invitation to Hell sounds like a real treat, a throwback to when Craven was making classic films like The Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes. But it's not. Think of Invitation to Hell as a literal invitation. It's like attending a party that you thought would be pretty fun because your friends would be there, but then you get to it and you come to find out that your friends are actually really boring and there's nothing to do but mope in a hard-backed wooden chair. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Because this is the '80s, the film is filled with crazy hair. Susan Lucci, who plays the evil spa owner Jessica Jones, gets the Hairspray award; her hair is always insane, as if before the scene was shot Craven called for her to stick her finger in an electrical socket. There's also some pretty terrible music and really outdated computers. But that's not really a criticism, I just wanted to point it out.

It takes Invitation to Hell a long time to get to its main plotline. Throughout much of the first half, the audience is forced to sit through endless dialogue about computers, Venus spacesuits, and a health spa that everyone's dying to join. For the most part, there's nothing scary or eerie about it; the menacing tone isn't equally proportioned through the movie. In fact, since Invitation to Hell was on TV, I'm surprised more people didn't tune out because of its slow opening gait.

When we finally do get to the meat of the movie, there's still a whole lot of nothing happening to keep the viewer interested. What was initially a story about attempting to encourage Matt's family to join the health spa becomes a story about attempting Matt to join the health spa. Eventually Matt journeys into the spa after he realizes that his family has been replaced by Jessica Jones, and there's actually an ingenious use of previous story to move things along.

But why is Jessica Jones replacing suburban citizens with evil clones? It's not really expressed, besides the fact that she likes to have power over others and enjoys the fear of the denizens of her hell. Invitation to Hell fails to explain major plot points, however, and an abrupt ending means many viewers (like myself) were left scratching their heads in wonder of just how Susan Lucci got her hair that way.

Slash to the Point: Don't RSVP to the invite. Don't get dressed up to go, thinking because Wes Craven will be there things will seem more fun. There's not even an open bar. You wouldn't willingly accept an invitation to Hell - would you?

Viewer Vomits:


None so far!

Horror Horizon - August 23

Notable DVD releases for the coming Tuesday. Selections subject to Blu-Ray release as well.

Trollhunter

"The government says there's nothing to worry about it's just a problem with bears making trouble in the mountains and forests of Norway. But local hunters don't believe it and neither do a trio of college students who want to find out the truth. Armed with a video camera, they trail a mysterious poacher, who wants nothing to do with them. However, their persistence lands them straight in the path of the objects of his pursuits: trolls. They soon find themselves documenting every move of this grizzled, unlikely hero the trollhunter risking their lives to uncover the secrets of creatures only thought to exist in fairy tales."

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (Remastered)

"It's back! The classic TV MOW that continues to cast a spell almost 40 years after it was first broadcast; in a new remastered and enhanced edition. Sally (Kim Darby) and Alex Farnham's (Jim Hutton) marriage has a sinister wedge driven through it; when her occult "imaginings" threaten to derail his career after they inherit Sally's grandmother's house. Also starring William Demarest."

Closed for the Season

"When trapped in a forgotten amusement park, a young girl finds herself terrorized by the living memories of the park. Now, she must break free from the park's grasp before she becomes its next victim." 

Cold Fish

"When Shamoto's teenage daughter was caught stealing, a generous middle-aged man helps to resolve the situation. The man and his wife offer to have Shamoto's daughter work at their fish store. Shamoto soon discovers the horrific truth of the seemingly perfect couple...who force him to get his hands dirty in their brutal business. Inspired by true events, Cold Fish is a bloodcurdling suspense drama that unveils the underlying insanity of an ordinary man." 

Super Hybrid

"Late one night, a mysterious car is brought into the Chicago police impound garage after a deadly traffic accident. The on-call mechanics soon discover the car has a mind of its own. With hundreds of horsepower and two tons of reinforced steel at its command, it's a seemingly unstoppable killing machine capable of outrunning -- and outwitting -- humans."

Followed Home

"A group of friends head out for a mountain retreat only to witness a gruesome murder at a near by cabin. They head home wanting to forget the experience... but are followed home by the murder."

The Bleeding House

"Meet the Smiths parents, Marilyn (Betsy Aidem) and Matt (Richard Bekins, Limitless), and teens, Gloria (Alexandra Chando, As The World Turns), 16, and Quentin (Charlie Hewson, Holy Rollers), 18 - a family full of secrets who keep themselves to themselves. When a sweet-talking Texan (Patrick Breen, Eli Stone, Radio) first arrives on the doorstep of their back-road Midwestern home, his calm, outgoing nature and particular brand of neighborly Christian philosophy seems to be just the remedy the Smith family needs. As the stranger s true motivations come to light, however, he emerges as a cold, driven killer, who thinks he has been sent straight from God to serve punishment upon the family for their past. What follows in this tightly wound and visceral horror/thriller is a desperate game of cat and mouse between the stranger and his prey. Will he succeed in his goal to bleed them of their sins or will the family s haunted past prove to be even more deadly than he bargained for?" 

Death of a Cheerleader

"Based on the real life murder of a California teenager, DEATH OF A CHEERLEADER stars Kellie Martin as Angela Delvecchio, an obsessive high school sophomore driven to be the best at whatever she does. Determined to break into the most exclusive girls' clique at Santa Mira High, Angela tries out for the cheerleading squad. But after a failed attempt at befriending the school's most popular girl (Tori Spelling) things go terribly wrong."

Stained

"Haunted by a dark secret she shares with foster sister Jennifer, Isabelle (Twilight Saga s Tinsel Korey) struggles to hold her business, her loveless existence, and her sanity together as the stress of her failing bookshop and complete loneliness continue to mount. When her former lover James suddenly appears in her shop, she decides to chance another romantic relationship. Isabelle is convinced she can handle it, but Jennifer is worried...really worried. As the twists and turns of Isabelle s present reveal and resurrect her past, paranoia sets in and she begins to dangerously unravel. To whom does Isabelle s romance pose the greatest threat? The suspense will keep you going until the film s spellbinding end." 

Children of the Corn: Genesis [Blu-Ray]

"TIM and ALLIE seek shelter in a remote desert compound after becoming lost and stranded. A strange Manson-like character, PREACHER (Drago), reluctantly allows them inside with strict orders to be gone by morning and not wander "where you are not invited."

The Noose: August 18

Will Fright Night fright or bite?

In some rather well-known news, the remake of Fright Night (in 3D no less - just think how the original would look) hits theaters tomorrow, 8/19. Despite my qualms about remakes and my undying love of the original, I am interested in checking this thing out, if only for nostalgia's sake. But the trailer has left me wondering how much of the source material will show up in the new one. Any thoughts on how deep this Fright Night will bite?

Haunting at the Beacon out September 13; filmed on location at haunted Rogers Hotel

Teri Polo (Meet the Parents) stars in this classic haunted house film coming out just in time for the Halloween season. For the most part, the flick sounds like a good old-fashioned ghost hunt/murder mystery centered around a ghostly little boy at a new apartment. But the most interesting story behind this film comes from the haunted Rogers Hotel where Haunting at the Beacon was filmed; apparently, a lot of the cast and crew experienced some phenomena of their own. Here's the lowdown about some haunted happenings from the press release:

"Writer/Director Michael Stokes (writer Bram Stokers Shadow Builder, The Marsh) told Fangoria.com of stories he heard of bedcovers being pulled back, items being moved, sightings of strange orbs and even the sounds of children laughing and crying every night around 3 a.m.  The building’s elevator, which plays a prominent role in the movie, also had a habit of trapping hotel staff, usually after a big day of shooting. 'We shot one scene in what is supposed to be the hotel’s most haunted location,' Stokes recalls. 'There was no problem with the equipment, and our sound man checked the playback to confirm everything had recorded properly. Still, when the DAT tape reached the lab, it was blank. None of the dialogue had been captured. The actors had to dub the scene.'"

See your own ghosts September 13.

Image Comics puts the clues together for Moriarty: The Dark Chamber collection

A paperback graphic novel collecting four issues of the nefarious doings of Holmesian villain Moriarty will be released by Image Comics on September 14th. Set after Sherlock Holmes' death, Moriarty continues his evil spree without his nemesis Holmes; somewhat science fiction, somewhat a dramatic look at Moriarty's loss of motivation after Holmes, Moriarty: The Dark Chamber will collect issues that involve Moriarty searching for Holmes' brother Mycroft.

All you villain fans can read Moriarty's chronicles Sept. 14th.

Official cover for The Caller

Be wary of who you speak to on the phone. The Caller releases August 26th. Look for a review of it here that day!

Black Metal Blasphemy #9: The BEHEMOTH Edition

Despite the numerous genre similarities between death and black metal, I'm going to lump Behemoth in more with the black metal crowd. The speedy drum riffs, blistering guitar solos, and gruff vocals from Nergal are all aspects of a black metal influence, and Behemoth's earlier output was deeply rooted in the genre territory. Only later did their sound begin to take on a more blackened death metal approach, although this was apparently a very good decision on the band's part. Most of their albums have been heavily lauded by critics, especially their later release The Apostasy; perhaps the only downfall of Behemoth has been their insistence on using the black metal "v" to replace the letters "f" and "u".

Endless Damnation (1992, self-released)

And the Forests Dream Eternally (1994, Entropy)

Sventevith (Storming Near the Baltic) [1995, Pagan Records]

Grom (1996, Metal Mind Productions)

Pandemonic Incantations (1998, Solistitium)

Satanica (1999, Avantgarde Music)

Thelema.6 (2000, Avantgarde Music)

Zos Kia Cultus (Here and Beyond) [2002, Avantgarde Music]

Crush.Fukk.Create: Requiem for Generation Armageddon (2004, Regain Records)

Demigod (2004, Regain Records)

The Apostasy (2007, Regain Records)

Ezkaton (2008, Metal Blade Records)

Evangelion (2009, Nuclear Blast Records)

Ov Fire and the Void (2009, Metal Blade Records)

Evangelia Heretika (2010, Regain Records)