Movie Review - The Taint

The Taint

"Who needs women?" The Taint asks. As one can see from the poster above, the characters of the film sure believe they don't need them for much more than sex, crafting mutant penises with a deadly serum that creates enlarged testes and supercrazed men who feel the need to kill any woman around. At first, it seems like The Taint is highly misogynistic, focusing on the belief that if a woman's not ready to get down and dirty quickly, they gots ta go. But instead, the political messages of The Taint are developed throughout the film in a chaotic, fervent manner, and though some of them might get lost in the juvenile antics of Drew Bolduc's lewd humor, the message is more than just ample screentime for stabbing bitches.

A tainted water supply is the cause of a recent outbreak of violent behavior toward women, where a Viagra-esque serum was leaked into the reservoir by a crazed and compensating doctor who felt like all men should feel the confidence of large genitalia. And, of course, just the thought of mammoth pulsating cocks isn't enough for director and writer Drew Bolduc and co-director Dan Nelson, who push the envelope by providing the viewer with enough flopping genitals to last a lifetime.

It's obvious that The Taint is made to be a garbagefest of sorts, exploitative in scope and looking for ideas to destroy. From the opening shots of The Taint, we get a mishmash of taboo themes - poop, extended vomit scenes, gore, boobs, an inside-the-vagina closeup, urination, and giant dicks cumming uncontrollably. All of these ideas are both prankish in design and important to the realism of the film: it shows there isn't any. Even Bolduc's main character Phil O'Ginny (philogyny if you didn't get that) is a caricature of today's "emo" fashion culture, with a ridiculous wig, two sets of sunglasses for different moods, and a habit of pulling out smokes to look cool while running from danger. Bolduc is critiquing culture here, but erratically.

Aside from a few minor slip-ups in plotting - delving into the backstories of some of the lesser characters for too long, like the unambiguously gay gym teacher - The Taint is so ridiculously edited that it makes the jokes even funnier. Jump cuts are used to shock the viewer, leaving them to ask, "Wait... what?" before they decide that it's okay to laugh at the antics on display. The fact of the matter is, The Taint has its tongue placed heavily in cheek, and it's not bad filmmaking which makes the viewer break down into hysterics; instead, it's the juvenile jokes that hover the line between politically incorrect and offensive. This is a good thing, though, and I honestly haven't laughed this hard in a long while.

I can safely say there's something in the film to offend just about everyone, and though that doesn't necessarily make offensive jokes okay in my book, it does show that The Taint is not purely misogynistic in its depiction of gruesome woman deaths. The message is somewhat hidden, but it's apparent that Bolduc is criticizing all of the unfortunate barriers between what makes a "man" and a "woman," and many of the characters fall somewhere in the grey area of these barriers despite their enlarged testicles.

A comment on the special effects and music must be made. The gore is both outrageous and extremely well done, with closeup shots of faces being smashed in being the common ground. A scene where a girl's head is destroyed by a car door is probably the best scene in the film because the effects are so well-done. Props to the SFX guys and gals, especially digital effects man Dan Nelson, for their work. Also, the music is quite catchy, especially the opening synth work during the credits.

Slash to the Point: Don't expect to see some literary criticism on the state of the world here; there's no heavy philosophical ideas or morals on display. I wouldn't be surprised if the title was meant as a double entendre. Yet The Taint still captures the essence of an increasingly violent and carefree culture, and though it would be easy to shrug off some of the themes as an attempt to give substance to an inane shlockfest, I think there are too many pointed remarks to label them all as accidental. You will be offended, but you'll also laugh, and I think that's the point - to be grotesquely funny while questioning just where the truth lies in the joke.