I hope everyone enjoys their celebrations. I'll be back sometime after January 1st with some more reviews and news.
Here's to horror movies in 2010!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Movie Review - Black Xmas
Black Xmas
Black Xmas falls into the same pitholes that it's remake predecessors have found themselves in. In trying to create an updated version of a film that has been a guiding influence for slashers proceeding it, the makers of Black Xmas have followed the same formula that has failed numerous times before: trying to spice up a poorly written script and flavorless acting with more gore and sex.
The story of Black Xmas is essentially the same as the original. A group of sorority sisters, who live in the house where a series of murders were committed and where a psychopathic murderer lived, are terrorized by the same psycho. Billy is his name, killing is his game. But the difference between the original and the remake that makes Xmas stand out is the fact that we get to see the backstory of Billy that was never provided in Bob Clark's original. Yet the secrets divulged aren't enough to bring the film back from the Christmas massacre.
The good thing about Black Xmas is its scenery - decorations are literally scattered throughout the entire film, and colored lights are used to great effect in casting an eerie glow on the surroundings. These sorority sisters know how to plan for Christmas, I'll give them that much. There's also an attempt to smarten the girls up, to give them a bit of character substance besides the generic bimbo or the dumb texting girl. And I say attempt, because it doesn't necessarily work. Only in the beginning do we see intelligence in the women of the sorority; a heated discussion over the practice of Christmas and its symbols places an emphasis on knowledge for the group, but shortly after we find that the girls are exactly the same stereotypes we thought they were, just equipped with facades.
I think this effectively sums up much of the entirety of the movie, as well. Trying to spice up the intensity, Black Xmas tries a whole bunch of tricks we've seen before, adding an extremity to the violence that does nothing for the plot and twisting the story up into entirely foreseeable "surprises." This isn't new, folks. We shouldn't be swayed.
But the film should be applauded for its attempt at breaking free from the original. There's a reason why Black Xmas is not named directly after the original. It's trying for more of a reboot than a shot-for-shot remake, which is an acceptable risk. But Black Xmas tries to dabble into too much intensity; it loses any tension that the original created in its slow (for some, unbearably slow) creep towards the climax by going over-the-top the whole way.
Yet over-the-top can sometimes be a boon, and I think that for Black Xmas, it really depends on the mood you're in. Looking for an inane but fun slasher, especially around the holidays? Probably can't go wrong here. But if it's more serious, "tradition"-al fare you're after, it's best to stick to the original. Still better than that atrocious Prom Night remake, though.
Black Xmas on Rotten Tomatoes
Black Xmas falls into the same pitholes that it's remake predecessors have found themselves in. In trying to create an updated version of a film that has been a guiding influence for slashers proceeding it, the makers of Black Xmas have followed the same formula that has failed numerous times before: trying to spice up a poorly written script and flavorless acting with more gore and sex.
The story of Black Xmas is essentially the same as the original. A group of sorority sisters, who live in the house where a series of murders were committed and where a psychopathic murderer lived, are terrorized by the same psycho. Billy is his name, killing is his game. But the difference between the original and the remake that makes Xmas stand out is the fact that we get to see the backstory of Billy that was never provided in Bob Clark's original. Yet the secrets divulged aren't enough to bring the film back from the Christmas massacre.
The good thing about Black Xmas is its scenery - decorations are literally scattered throughout the entire film, and colored lights are used to great effect in casting an eerie glow on the surroundings. These sorority sisters know how to plan for Christmas, I'll give them that much. There's also an attempt to smarten the girls up, to give them a bit of character substance besides the generic bimbo or the dumb texting girl. And I say attempt, because it doesn't necessarily work. Only in the beginning do we see intelligence in the women of the sorority; a heated discussion over the practice of Christmas and its symbols places an emphasis on knowledge for the group, but shortly after we find that the girls are exactly the same stereotypes we thought they were, just equipped with facades.
I think this effectively sums up much of the entirety of the movie, as well. Trying to spice up the intensity, Black Xmas tries a whole bunch of tricks we've seen before, adding an extremity to the violence that does nothing for the plot and twisting the story up into entirely foreseeable "surprises." This isn't new, folks. We shouldn't be swayed.
But the film should be applauded for its attempt at breaking free from the original. There's a reason why Black Xmas is not named directly after the original. It's trying for more of a reboot than a shot-for-shot remake, which is an acceptable risk. But Black Xmas tries to dabble into too much intensity; it loses any tension that the original created in its slow (for some, unbearably slow) creep towards the climax by going over-the-top the whole way.
Yet over-the-top can sometimes be a boon, and I think that for Black Xmas, it really depends on the mood you're in. Looking for an inane but fun slasher, especially around the holidays? Probably can't go wrong here. But if it's more serious, "tradition"-al fare you're after, it's best to stick to the original. Still better than that atrocious Prom Night remake, though.
Black Xmas on Rotten Tomatoes
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Hope everyone is having a great holiday! Enjoy it! I'll be back soon to post about all of the horror goodies I got!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Happy Holidays!
Wishing everyone a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I'll be gone through most of the holidays, but I'll check back in every now and then. Enjoy your family and friends, and I'll see you in 2010!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Anime Review - Zombie-Loan
Zombie-Loan
Zombie-Loan is an 11-episode anime series based off of the manga of the same name. In it, Michiru Kita is drawn into a mysterious organization, teaming up with two awkward men who must work for the company to pay back their "zombie" loans. Since Michiru has a secret talent for scoping out zombies with her eyesight, she makes a great asset to the team - some of the time.
From the outset, Zombie-Loan's plot sounds pretty original, and the first few episodes had me hooked. The art is styled similar to shojo, or girl's manga, and the male characters are feminine in design. There's more humor in the anime than action or scares, even though the story is about zombies, and much of the plot is centered around Michiru and her two friends, Chika and Shito, who all argue throughout much of the series.
Unfortunately, whatever momentum Zombie-Loan gains in the beginning episodes of the show peters out quickly when it comes to substantial plot elements. The series is cursed to story arcs that leave the viewer no closer to the actual point of the show, rarely going further than tracking down a baddy and then wrapping the whole thing up cleaner than the Christmas presents under my tree. This is coupled with the fact that the plot seems unsteady - it is only furthered by the constant introduction of new characters, a cheap and uninteresting way to move the show to its faltering finale.
There's also a lack of action to this anime that leaves the viewer wondering why the hell they're actually wasting their time with the show. Much of the fighting takes place off-screen, or whatever we do see ends very quickly with some all-mighty blow. There's always a semi-effective build-up, but its purpose is defeated when we see the conclusion. The horror element, too, is missing; Zombie-Loan has a few creepy scenes that drop the ball when the anime forgets what exactly it's trying to do.
Zombie-Loan is too focused on its comedy and romance to really get a good story started, and trying to cram it all into 11 episodes doesn't help things either. What the anime sets out to do is startlingly different from where it ends up, and it's a drag getting there. Get this a body bag, it's got no life.
Zombie-Loan is an 11-episode anime series based off of the manga of the same name. In it, Michiru Kita is drawn into a mysterious organization, teaming up with two awkward men who must work for the company to pay back their "zombie" loans. Since Michiru has a secret talent for scoping out zombies with her eyesight, she makes a great asset to the team - some of the time.
From the outset, Zombie-Loan's plot sounds pretty original, and the first few episodes had me hooked. The art is styled similar to shojo, or girl's manga, and the male characters are feminine in design. There's more humor in the anime than action or scares, even though the story is about zombies, and much of the plot is centered around Michiru and her two friends, Chika and Shito, who all argue throughout much of the series.
Unfortunately, whatever momentum Zombie-Loan gains in the beginning episodes of the show peters out quickly when it comes to substantial plot elements. The series is cursed to story arcs that leave the viewer no closer to the actual point of the show, rarely going further than tracking down a baddy and then wrapping the whole thing up cleaner than the Christmas presents under my tree. This is coupled with the fact that the plot seems unsteady - it is only furthered by the constant introduction of new characters, a cheap and uninteresting way to move the show to its faltering finale.
There's also a lack of action to this anime that leaves the viewer wondering why the hell they're actually wasting their time with the show. Much of the fighting takes place off-screen, or whatever we do see ends very quickly with some all-mighty blow. There's always a semi-effective build-up, but its purpose is defeated when we see the conclusion. The horror element, too, is missing; Zombie-Loan has a few creepy scenes that drop the ball when the anime forgets what exactly it's trying to do.
Zombie-Loan is too focused on its comedy and romance to really get a good story started, and trying to cram it all into 11 episodes doesn't help things either. What the anime sets out to do is startlingly different from where it ends up, and it's a drag getting there. Get this a body bag, it's got no life.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Moon Minis - Tropic Thunder
Tropic Thunder
Star-studded cast, including writer/director/actor Ben Stiller, presents an action-packed, tongue-in-cheek satire of war films that's heavy on violence but surprisingly low on laughs. The film is entertaining, of course, featuring Stiller's distinct brand of humor, with witty dialogue and twists so ridiculous they're believable, but for the most part, the jokes are more chuckle-worthy than any laugh-out-loud raucous one would expect from a team-up of Stiller, Jack Black, and a black Robert Downey Jr. Black's role is decidedly lacking here, and when he is on camera, he's delegated to a pathetic drug addict whose sole purpose is to act as withdrawn as possible. Even Stiller's role is minor; it is Robert Downey Jr. who provides the most laughs, with his spot-on, if controversial, performance.
It feels as though the film stretched itself too thin - with such a large cast, an intricate metafictional plot (a movie about making a movie based on a book based on a war), and action sequences that look and feel like serious war films, Tropic Thunder has a hard time focusing on one thing and doing it well. Instead, it has its moments, particularly when mimicking its inspirations (most notable - the use of late 60s, early 70s rock hits), but a lot of the jokes shoot blanks. Adventurous, experimental, but unable to push past the satire.
Tropic Thunder on Rotten Tomatoes
Star-studded cast, including writer/director/actor Ben Stiller, presents an action-packed, tongue-in-cheek satire of war films that's heavy on violence but surprisingly low on laughs. The film is entertaining, of course, featuring Stiller's distinct brand of humor, with witty dialogue and twists so ridiculous they're believable, but for the most part, the jokes are more chuckle-worthy than any laugh-out-loud raucous one would expect from a team-up of Stiller, Jack Black, and a black Robert Downey Jr. Black's role is decidedly lacking here, and when he is on camera, he's delegated to a pathetic drug addict whose sole purpose is to act as withdrawn as possible. Even Stiller's role is minor; it is Robert Downey Jr. who provides the most laughs, with his spot-on, if controversial, performance.
It feels as though the film stretched itself too thin - with such a large cast, an intricate metafictional plot (a movie about making a movie based on a book based on a war), and action sequences that look and feel like serious war films, Tropic Thunder has a hard time focusing on one thing and doing it well. Instead, it has its moments, particularly when mimicking its inspirations (most notable - the use of late 60s, early 70s rock hits), but a lot of the jokes shoot blanks. Adventurous, experimental, but unable to push past the satire.
Tropic Thunder on Rotten Tomatoes
Monday, December 21, 2009
New ZMD poster released for Afterdark Horrorfest
Afterdark Horrorfest is gearing up for their fourth annual film festival, recently releasing this new poster for ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction. Very patriotic, don't you think?
ZMD is part of the 8 Films to Die For series, with The Reeds recently being named the seventh film for the festival. From the press release for ZMD:
"In ZMD, a conservative island community is under attack! Port Gamble, Washington is being overrun with braineaters, and the people seem powerless to stave them off. A rag tag band of rebels led by Frida (Janette Armand), an Iranian college student suspected of being an Iraqi terrorist, and Tom (Doug Fahl), a gay business man who has returned to town with his partner to come out to his mother, tries to turn the tide and push the invading hoards of undead back."
The other films include Dread, Hidden, Lake Mungo, The Final, and The Graves. You can catch all of the films at various locations starting on January 29 until February 4. Keep checking the website for information on a showing near you.
Moon Minis - Year One
Year One
Primitive comedy starring Jack Black and Michael Cera uses stupid humor to get the jokes across, and while funny, it's still a lesser film for both of the two stars. Black and Cera do the tag-team crazy- and straight-man routine well, and for the most part, the Biblical gags are a hit. The plot's a good adventure story, too. But some of the more bone-headed jokes fall flat, and it's to the actors' advantages when there's a particularly compelling, fresh joke thrown into the mix (like face urination). Both Cera and Black retain their comedic stylings, almost a little too well, as the film, though set in primal ages, refuses to tone down the more modern speech. The plot also becomes a little tiring towards the middle, repeating its structure where Cera and Black stumble into another new village again and again.
And so, like the plot itself, the comedy of Year One is primitive at best, rarely straying from overused gags. This is a stupid comedy, folks, and if slapstick humor is not your thing, it might be best to leave Year One in the Stone Age. But for those who enjoy a comedy that doesn't require a lot of thought, the film's nice to relax with.
Year One on Rotten Tomatoes
Primitive comedy starring Jack Black and Michael Cera uses stupid humor to get the jokes across, and while funny, it's still a lesser film for both of the two stars. Black and Cera do the tag-team crazy- and straight-man routine well, and for the most part, the Biblical gags are a hit. The plot's a good adventure story, too. But some of the more bone-headed jokes fall flat, and it's to the actors' advantages when there's a particularly compelling, fresh joke thrown into the mix (like face urination). Both Cera and Black retain their comedic stylings, almost a little too well, as the film, though set in primal ages, refuses to tone down the more modern speech. The plot also becomes a little tiring towards the middle, repeating its structure where Cera and Black stumble into another new village again and again.
And so, like the plot itself, the comedy of Year One is primitive at best, rarely straying from overused gags. This is a stupid comedy, folks, and if slapstick humor is not your thing, it might be best to leave Year One in the Stone Age. But for those who enjoy a comedy that doesn't require a lot of thought, the film's nice to relax with.
Year One on Rotten Tomatoes
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Comic Review - North 40 #4, 5, & 6
North 40
The conclusion to the 6-issue comic series by Aaron Williams and Fiona Staples is upon us. Unfortunately, North 40 draws to a close a bit prematurely, taking with it a legendary story that doesn't quite wrap up as neatly as one would hope from the exciting opening three issues.
Still present is the ferocity of Staples' artwork; the violence she releases on the page is chaotic, mimicking the plot penned by Williams. Also retained is the fast-paced clip, with Williams practically dragging the reader from page to page as he works his way through fight after fight of monster carnage. Williams combines characters well; we have a main character to root for, but there's a smattering of secondary characters who have their own grand detailing as well.
There's also a general feeling that Williams is taking us on a breathless ride on North 40 that seems to have no ending. Where it stops, only Williams and Staples know, at least until we get to the last panel of issue 6. It's a thrilling feeling, but it's also a bit misleading: there comes a point when the reader feels as though the conflicts that are presented in each issue will have only minor resolutions. They're made to feel bigger than they really become. In a way, it's messing with our expectations, which constantly redirects us when we find what we initially thought would happen is now not the case. Yet it also becomes frustrating - sometimes I want to know exactly what happened!
This dilemma becomes a bigger problem toward the end of the series. Williams is sometimes rushing too fast, never letting the reader explore the new, dangerous world of North 40. I wanted to spend more time; I can feel story arcs just waiting to jump out of North 40's short run, but they're not given any time to develop. Even the backstory to the plot is concluded so quickly that it's hard to get a grip on the events.
While North 40 cannot be deemed anything but a manic success, the wrap-up comes at the expense of dropping all of the interesting ideas that could have come out of the world. Instead of the rush to the finish line, I would have loved to stay in the comic for a while - there's so much to see that the 6-issue series almost acts as a brief overview of a longer story. Don't let my disappointments in the finale dissuade you from reading, though. Chalk it up to high expectations. The ending does leave thoughts of a sequel; I'd sure as hell love to see that happen.
The conclusion to the 6-issue comic series by Aaron Williams and Fiona Staples is upon us. Unfortunately, North 40 draws to a close a bit prematurely, taking with it a legendary story that doesn't quite wrap up as neatly as one would hope from the exciting opening three issues.
Still present is the ferocity of Staples' artwork; the violence she releases on the page is chaotic, mimicking the plot penned by Williams. Also retained is the fast-paced clip, with Williams practically dragging the reader from page to page as he works his way through fight after fight of monster carnage. Williams combines characters well; we have a main character to root for, but there's a smattering of secondary characters who have their own grand detailing as well.
There's also a general feeling that Williams is taking us on a breathless ride on North 40 that seems to have no ending. Where it stops, only Williams and Staples know, at least until we get to the last panel of issue 6. It's a thrilling feeling, but it's also a bit misleading: there comes a point when the reader feels as though the conflicts that are presented in each issue will have only minor resolutions. They're made to feel bigger than they really become. In a way, it's messing with our expectations, which constantly redirects us when we find what we initially thought would happen is now not the case. Yet it also becomes frustrating - sometimes I want to know exactly what happened!
This dilemma becomes a bigger problem toward the end of the series. Williams is sometimes rushing too fast, never letting the reader explore the new, dangerous world of North 40. I wanted to spend more time; I can feel story arcs just waiting to jump out of North 40's short run, but they're not given any time to develop. Even the backstory to the plot is concluded so quickly that it's hard to get a grip on the events.
While North 40 cannot be deemed anything but a manic success, the wrap-up comes at the expense of dropping all of the interesting ideas that could have come out of the world. Instead of the rush to the finish line, I would have loved to stay in the comic for a while - there's so much to see that the 6-issue series almost acts as a brief overview of a longer story. Don't let my disappointments in the finale dissuade you from reading, though. Chalk it up to high expectations. The ending does leave thoughts of a sequel; I'd sure as hell love to see that happen.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Book Review - The Christmas Cookie Killer by Livia J. Washburn
The Christmas Cookie Killer
There has been a huge surge lately in attempting to widen the mystery genre to include new and inventive "detectives." I'm all for it, actually - mysteries need more than just the classic trope of a hardened detective investigating case after case, and it's more relatable to see someone more like ourselves solve murders without much knowledge of DNA or forensics.
This is the type of mystery that Washburn's Fresh-Baked Mysteries series falls into, and The Christmas Cookie Killer furthers that by centering on food-preparation coupled with murder, and also managing to juggle some of the Christmas spirit in there as well.
Washburn has some memorable characters, and although they seem a bit too good-natured and proper, her main character Phyllis is one of those grandmother types that you can't help but love. She also has a few housemates as well, most impressing being Sam. Washburn's characters are strong, and from only reading one book in the series, I'd hazard a guess that any backstory is released slowly throughout each novel, adding incentive to reading each book in the series.
This book moves rather slowly through the lone murder, however - if you're looking for a lot of clue-digging or murders, this novel is rather lacking. Much of the plot is devoted to life with Phyllis and the community around her, and Washburn is more apt to explore the aftermath of a town murder than pitting Phyllis in detective shoes. The plot's also fairly flimsy with the Christmas theme, but the spirit is still there.
Yet Washburn's story is definitely more enjoyable than flawed, and most of the points I have made are more creativity questionings than they are problems with the story. The Christmas Cookie Killer may be only loosely tied to the season, but it's still a good yuletide treat that differs from the usual cheery Christmas stories.
There has been a huge surge lately in attempting to widen the mystery genre to include new and inventive "detectives." I'm all for it, actually - mysteries need more than just the classic trope of a hardened detective investigating case after case, and it's more relatable to see someone more like ourselves solve murders without much knowledge of DNA or forensics.
This is the type of mystery that Washburn's Fresh-Baked Mysteries series falls into, and The Christmas Cookie Killer furthers that by centering on food-preparation coupled with murder, and also managing to juggle some of the Christmas spirit in there as well.
Washburn has some memorable characters, and although they seem a bit too good-natured and proper, her main character Phyllis is one of those grandmother types that you can't help but love. She also has a few housemates as well, most impressing being Sam. Washburn's characters are strong, and from only reading one book in the series, I'd hazard a guess that any backstory is released slowly throughout each novel, adding incentive to reading each book in the series.
This book moves rather slowly through the lone murder, however - if you're looking for a lot of clue-digging or murders, this novel is rather lacking. Much of the plot is devoted to life with Phyllis and the community around her, and Washburn is more apt to explore the aftermath of a town murder than pitting Phyllis in detective shoes. The plot's also fairly flimsy with the Christmas theme, but the spirit is still there.
Yet Washburn's story is definitely more enjoyable than flawed, and most of the points I have made are more creativity questionings than they are problems with the story. The Christmas Cookie Killer may be only loosely tied to the season, but it's still a good yuletide treat that differs from the usual cheery Christmas stories.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Moon Minis - A Christmas Carol (2009)
A Christmas Carol (2009)
Dark, plodding retelling of the classic Dickens story in 3D animation. Robert Zemeckis is on top of his game here as well, surpassing The Polar Express in my eyes in both story and direction. The film tackles the story's themes with spot-on depth and affection, even utilizing Victorian speech to tell the tale.
A Christmas Carol captures the terrors of the novel perhaps better than any other adaptation so far. Full of visceral images and spooky ghosts, the movie may not cater well toward the children - they may find the animations a bit too scary and the dialogue difficult to understand - but it hits heavy in the hearts of adults. It may be a bit slow-paced, but that is made up for in the sleek animation, stylized 3D imagery, and sheer terrifying ferocity of some of the ghosts. The film is almost like a ride, a scary one at that. Also, one will find a less comedic side in Jim Carrey, and surprisingly less dialogue.
A Christmas Carol lends itself well to animation, where the dreamlike sequences can be rendered in childish style until the film's bleakness in the middle comes to bite at us with its sharp story. Allow yourself to be sucked into the world of the film and you'll find yourself absorbed with Scrooge's nightmares, terrified as if you were a child and didn't know about the real horrors of what it's like to have money - or lack it.
A Christmas Carol on Rotten Tomatoes
Dark, plodding retelling of the classic Dickens story in 3D animation. Robert Zemeckis is on top of his game here as well, surpassing The Polar Express in my eyes in both story and direction. The film tackles the story's themes with spot-on depth and affection, even utilizing Victorian speech to tell the tale.
A Christmas Carol captures the terrors of the novel perhaps better than any other adaptation so far. Full of visceral images and spooky ghosts, the movie may not cater well toward the children - they may find the animations a bit too scary and the dialogue difficult to understand - but it hits heavy in the hearts of adults. It may be a bit slow-paced, but that is made up for in the sleek animation, stylized 3D imagery, and sheer terrifying ferocity of some of the ghosts. The film is almost like a ride, a scary one at that. Also, one will find a less comedic side in Jim Carrey, and surprisingly less dialogue.
A Christmas Carol lends itself well to animation, where the dreamlike sequences can be rendered in childish style until the film's bleakness in the middle comes to bite at us with its sharp story. Allow yourself to be sucked into the world of the film and you'll find yourself absorbed with Scrooge's nightmares, terrified as if you were a child and didn't know about the real horrors of what it's like to have money - or lack it.
A Christmas Carol on Rotten Tomatoes
Friday, December 11, 2009
Amateur Surgeon Christmas: It's a cut-up!
If you're looking for a game with holiday cheer and gore and destruction, look no further than Adult Swim's new game Amateur Surgeon Christmas.
The game is a sequel to the original version, but this time the terrible surgeon crashes into Santa Claus while he's taking off for Christmas and must save his elves, reindeer, and the fat guy himself before Christmas is ruined. Requiring precision and patience, the game is very difficult and quite messy, but it's a fun little diversion for the holidays and one that's sure to disgust, disturb, and entertain. Grab your Santa mug and start cutting.
You can play it on Adult Swim's webpage or on Newgrounds.
Five tips for a creepy Christmas
The holiday season can become infested with good-hearted, mushy gushy cheer at times, a real drag on those of us who enjoy our holidays coupled with a healthy smattering of gore. So to make Christmas more horror-oriented, I've come up with five cool ideas to make your Christmas season one full of love, laughter, and terror.
1. Wrap Christmas presents... with boxes filled with fake body parts!
There's nothing like the joys of unwrapping a present from your loved one on a wintry Christmas morn. But think of the sacrilege it would be to have your loved one unwrap a freshly bloodied fake hand for a gift! Of course, this cannot be relied on as a cheap Christmas gift for your wife; it's only a gag... She'll still want that nice ring from Zales.
2. Make a Christmas turkey... stuffed with a surprise gummy eyeball!
Turkey's a great feast item for the holiday, and most people love to stuff it with some sort of yummy dressing. To put a spin on this yuletide treat, insert a gummy eyeball secretly after the turkey comes out of the oven. Then, have someone unwittingly scoop the stuffing out of the bird. Surprise! Another gift! Calmly explain, "They must have missed an eye," and shrug your shoulders nonchalantly. They'll never forget it.
3. Plan a festive Christmas party... with a homicidal Santa!
Santa's the one who is supposed to give the presents, but this time he's taking more than the gifts back. You can pose this as a sort of Christmas mystery party, a sort of who-dunnit with Santa Claus. Of course, please let the elderly know in advance, and if possible, request no cell phones in case of a speedy 911 dialer.
4. Recreate the Nativity Scene... with flesh-eating wisemen!
The Nativity Scene is probably one of the most recognizable of the Bible stories, and one that serenely tells the story of Christ's birth. So just think how awesome it would be to have zombie wisemen come in and eat our savior! Not recommended for the highly religious crowd, as some would deem it "offensive." Others, like myself, would think it a hoot.
5. If the rest seem slightly out of hand... pick up Dean Koontz's Santa's Twin and Robot Santa for a creepy but fun family delight.
Cuddle around the fire with some hot cocoa, put on A Christmas Story, and read these two illustrated children's books aloud for a change of pace from The Night Before Christmas.
Happy holidays, and keep the horror going through the whole season.
1. Wrap Christmas presents... with boxes filled with fake body parts!
There's nothing like the joys of unwrapping a present from your loved one on a wintry Christmas morn. But think of the sacrilege it would be to have your loved one unwrap a freshly bloodied fake hand for a gift! Of course, this cannot be relied on as a cheap Christmas gift for your wife; it's only a gag... She'll still want that nice ring from Zales.
2. Make a Christmas turkey... stuffed with a surprise gummy eyeball!
Turkey's a great feast item for the holiday, and most people love to stuff it with some sort of yummy dressing. To put a spin on this yuletide treat, insert a gummy eyeball secretly after the turkey comes out of the oven. Then, have someone unwittingly scoop the stuffing out of the bird. Surprise! Another gift! Calmly explain, "They must have missed an eye," and shrug your shoulders nonchalantly. They'll never forget it.
3. Plan a festive Christmas party... with a homicidal Santa!
Santa's the one who is supposed to give the presents, but this time he's taking more than the gifts back. You can pose this as a sort of Christmas mystery party, a sort of who-dunnit with Santa Claus. Of course, please let the elderly know in advance, and if possible, request no cell phones in case of a speedy 911 dialer.
4. Recreate the Nativity Scene... with flesh-eating wisemen!
The Nativity Scene is probably one of the most recognizable of the Bible stories, and one that serenely tells the story of Christ's birth. So just think how awesome it would be to have zombie wisemen come in and eat our savior! Not recommended for the highly religious crowd, as some would deem it "offensive." Others, like myself, would think it a hoot.
5. If the rest seem slightly out of hand... pick up Dean Koontz's Santa's Twin and Robot Santa for a creepy but fun family delight.
Cuddle around the fire with some hot cocoa, put on A Christmas Story, and read these two illustrated children's books aloud for a change of pace from The Night Before Christmas.
Happy holidays, and keep the horror going through the whole season.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Book Review - The Dead by Mark E. Rogers
The Dead
The Dead is a simple title, but one that does not mimic the complexity of the story within. Rogers' 1989 novel has been reprinted by Permuted Press in a tome containing over 30 original illustrations by the author. Rogers has managed to work in zombies with an intricate religious plot that hinges on sinning and repentance.
We are introduced to Gary, an atheist who begins the story with strange dreams about his father's death that come true. Disappearances, strange mechanical failures, and shared nightmares preclude the zombie apocalypse, which soon becomes a fight for survival when Gary and his family, especially his brother Max, are targeted by the big bad daddy Legion in his quest to damn them to Hell.
The main point to bring up about Rogers' story is the fact that it manages to break free of the stereotypical zombie genre to include a legitimate plot about religion. Zombie films tend to make mention of some sort of religious aspect as a cause of the zombie outbreak, specifically blaming God for the suffering caused, but generally it remains two-dimensional in scope. Rogers' plot is more focused on the Last Judgment, and zombies are just a side-effect of that event. This makes the story so much more intriguing - instead of requiring the reader to slog through 300 pages of zombie mayhem which differs only slightly from others of the same ilk, we get drama that originates from the conflict of religion.
One of the best things about The Dead is its reluctance to jump right into the violent, gory nature of zombies. Instead, we're treated to creepy, atmospheric dreams and frantic conversations that make the lead-up to the Last Judgment so much more eerie than being thrown into the action right away. Rogers has done a good job of creating tension throughout the piece, enough to keep the reader going without knowing exactly what is happening.
The zombies are intense, especially because they can't be killed with just headshots. They're practically unstoppable, continuing to advance even when they're in pieces. It makes the action much scarier when the enemy is barely susceptible to weaponry. Legion also has some solid dialogue that gives him a really menacing quality.
The setup is good, it's no lie, but there's a point where Rogers starts to lose a grip on concluding the story. The salvation of the good is slightly confusing; some suffer, some don't and are just divinely spirited to Heaven. There are a few instances where the ideas are presented but never cleared up; for one, the mechanical failures don't seem to make sense, because the entities that are creating the problem seem to be against the zombies.
There's also a tendency to rely too much on religious dialogues to advance the plot. There are times when whole chapters are devoted to the characters waxing philosophical on their own ideas of religion, and while it adds good characterization, it can get a little tiring to wade through all of the mumbo-jumbo.
But summationally, The Dead works well to combine suffering and sinning with zombies in a crazed world, with characters who are continually tested by ultra-stressful events. There's some great imagery here that provides a dense atmosphere, one which can become creepy in the right setting. While the illustrations could be better in printing quality, they do add a lot to the story alongside it, and Permuted Press' new edition of Rogers' novel thankfully reprints this worthy zombie read.
The Dead is a simple title, but one that does not mimic the complexity of the story within. Rogers' 1989 novel has been reprinted by Permuted Press in a tome containing over 30 original illustrations by the author. Rogers has managed to work in zombies with an intricate religious plot that hinges on sinning and repentance.
We are introduced to Gary, an atheist who begins the story with strange dreams about his father's death that come true. Disappearances, strange mechanical failures, and shared nightmares preclude the zombie apocalypse, which soon becomes a fight for survival when Gary and his family, especially his brother Max, are targeted by the big bad daddy Legion in his quest to damn them to Hell.
The main point to bring up about Rogers' story is the fact that it manages to break free of the stereotypical zombie genre to include a legitimate plot about religion. Zombie films tend to make mention of some sort of religious aspect as a cause of the zombie outbreak, specifically blaming God for the suffering caused, but generally it remains two-dimensional in scope. Rogers' plot is more focused on the Last Judgment, and zombies are just a side-effect of that event. This makes the story so much more intriguing - instead of requiring the reader to slog through 300 pages of zombie mayhem which differs only slightly from others of the same ilk, we get drama that originates from the conflict of religion.
One of the best things about The Dead is its reluctance to jump right into the violent, gory nature of zombies. Instead, we're treated to creepy, atmospheric dreams and frantic conversations that make the lead-up to the Last Judgment so much more eerie than being thrown into the action right away. Rogers has done a good job of creating tension throughout the piece, enough to keep the reader going without knowing exactly what is happening.
The zombies are intense, especially because they can't be killed with just headshots. They're practically unstoppable, continuing to advance even when they're in pieces. It makes the action much scarier when the enemy is barely susceptible to weaponry. Legion also has some solid dialogue that gives him a really menacing quality.
The setup is good, it's no lie, but there's a point where Rogers starts to lose a grip on concluding the story. The salvation of the good is slightly confusing; some suffer, some don't and are just divinely spirited to Heaven. There are a few instances where the ideas are presented but never cleared up; for one, the mechanical failures don't seem to make sense, because the entities that are creating the problem seem to be against the zombies.
There's also a tendency to rely too much on religious dialogues to advance the plot. There are times when whole chapters are devoted to the characters waxing philosophical on their own ideas of religion, and while it adds good characterization, it can get a little tiring to wade through all of the mumbo-jumbo.
But summationally, The Dead works well to combine suffering and sinning with zombies in a crazed world, with characters who are continually tested by ultra-stressful events. There's some great imagery here that provides a dense atmosphere, one which can become creepy in the right setting. While the illustrations could be better in printing quality, they do add a lot to the story alongside it, and Permuted Press' new edition of Rogers' novel thankfully reprints this worthy zombie read.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Moon Minis - Elf
Elf
Elf has already become a holiday classic, even considering it's a relatively new film. It plays on practically every station during the holidays, gets a good showing on Greyhound bus trips for the holidays, and is one of my favorite Christmas movies.
Part of this is because of Will Ferrell's extremely lovable character, Buddy. Ferrell's style of comedy can be abrasive to some, but Elf's seasonal cheer negates this factor by casting Ferrell in a role that he was born for - a juvenile yet likable character with flaws that make him more enjoyable, not less.
Add to that a fine performance by Zooey Deschanel, who adds some much needed sarcasm to Ferrell's straight-man, and one gets a good romance as well. The story plays off of a number of holiday oldies, combining Scrooge (James Caan), lack of holiday cheer, and a Santa dilemma together to create a Christmas ode of sorts, while retaining its own unique brand of comedy. You can't go wrong with Elf during the holidays; watch it for its festive NYC atmosphere (which looks fantastic during winter), or Ferrell's childish cuteness. Even meant for children, adults can find a lot to love in Elf's Christmas jubilee.
Elf on Rotten Tomatoes
Part of this is because of Will Ferrell's extremely lovable character, Buddy. Ferrell's style of comedy can be abrasive to some, but Elf's seasonal cheer negates this factor by casting Ferrell in a role that he was born for - a juvenile yet likable character with flaws that make him more enjoyable, not less.
Add to that a fine performance by Zooey Deschanel, who adds some much needed sarcasm to Ferrell's straight-man, and one gets a good romance as well. The story plays off of a number of holiday oldies, combining Scrooge (James Caan), lack of holiday cheer, and a Santa dilemma together to create a Christmas ode of sorts, while retaining its own unique brand of comedy. You can't go wrong with Elf during the holidays; watch it for its festive NYC atmosphere (which looks fantastic during winter), or Ferrell's childish cuteness. Even meant for children, adults can find a lot to love in Elf's Christmas jubilee.
Elf on Rotten Tomatoes
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Chevy Chase destroys Christmas on AMC this week!
If you haven't been watching AMC this week, maybe you should start. Starting on November 30th, AMC began their Christmas movie marathon with a whole week of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation! That's right - from now until December 3, you have a chance to watch the film a total of six times, so what excuse do you have to miss it!
The film airs every night at 8, and if you missed it, you can catch it again at 10:15. It's probably my holiday favorite, and even one of my favorite films of all time. Tune in and let the Griswalds put your family get-togethers to shame!
You can view the schedule on AMC's website.
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